At such a pivotal moment in our nation’s history, we the people of this United States believe that a commemoration of 250 years as a country would not be complete without an appearance by our greatest president of all time and God’s mightiest soldier, Dwayne Elizando Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho. Therefore, we demand he be included as an honored guest referee at UFC Freedom 250, the first (of many?) UFC fights to take place on the White House lawn on June 14th of the year of our lord 2026. 

No other president in our past, present, or future represents our country’s current state of affairs more proudly than President Camacho, a real American hero who saw our nation through the Brawndo droughts of 2505. Peppered with patriotic machine gun fire, his riveting “I know shit’s bad” speech in the House of Representin’ carried Americans through an immeasurable crisis. 

President Camacho’s presence will not only be the first step to heal a divided nation, but to make a signal call to the nations of the world that America will remain “that shiny ass city on a mothaf***in’ hill” for another 250 or even 500 years!

Sponsored by Carl’s Jr.*