To: The Honorable City Council of Cleveland, Ohio

As the most passionate and justice-driven fans, we hereby present a proposal that is sure to bring about a revolution in the world of NFL officiating, particularly when it comes to our beloved Myles Garrett.

The Issue at Hand: It’s clear to all with eyes to see that Myles Garrett, our defensive juggernaut, is being held in games more often than the rules of gravity are hold each of us to the ground. This flagrant disregard for the rules must be addressed.

The Solution - “The Fair Play for Myles Act”:

1.  Appoint a “Garrett Guardian”: A dedicated official with no less than 10 years of football officiating experience, this guardian of fairness will be stationed in the stadium, with the sole task of vigilantly watching over Myles Garrett. Their job is to spot and call out holding penalties against Garrett in real time.
2. Immediate and Severe Penalties: If a hold against Garrett goes uncalled, the nearest referee shall face an immediate fine of $1 million or a 6-month jail term, subject to the swift judgment of the “Garrett Guardian.” Referees will be considered flight risks and held without bail until their trial. 
3. Sky Judges and Full-Time Referees: We demand the NFL institute sky judges to oversee and correct calls from above and mandate that all referees become full-time employees, trained to the highest standards of the officiating arts. They should dedicate no less then 20 hours a week to studying game film and be fined for missing calls and forced to issue formal apologies.
4. On-the-Spot Enforcement: Law enforcement officers will be present at games with the authority to enforce the ordinance then and there, ensuring no delay in justice for any missed calls.

This petition is a bold statement for fairness and a world where every hold is called, and every game is played on an even field. It’s more than just a game; it’s about upholding the spirit and integrity of football, and giving Cleveland’s hero, Myles Garrett, the fair play he deserves.

If you stand for justice, Myles Garrett, and the power of slightly over-the-top ordinances, affix your signature below.

A Final, Serious Note:
While this petition has been presented with a touch of humor and hyperbole, at its heart lies a very real frustration shared by many fans. Incidents like what happened during “bottle-gate” and missed targeting calls in the playoffs are not just footnotes in a game; they are symptomatic of deeper issues within NFL officiating. By routinely allowing the best defensive players to be held without consequence, the essence of fair competition is undermined, and the enjoyment of the game is diminished for players and fans alike. This is not a Cleveland Browns issue it is an everyone issue.

We understand the balance between “letting players play” and enforcing rules, but there comes a point where overlooking key penalties becomes detrimental to the integrity of the sport. This petition, though whimsical in tone, is a call for change. The NFL has long been in need of reform in its officiating standards and practices. We hope this petition, in its own unique way, shines a light on these issues and contributes to the ongoing conversation about the need for fairer, more consistent officiating in the sport we love.