We need to destroy the sun! The government has neglected this issue for too long. It’s time that everyone rises up together to deafest the sun. We demand that the government send a bucket of water into space to put out the sun. It’s time to end their tyrannical rule! For centuries they’ve ignored our pain and suffering but now they have to hear us! No more sunburns that cause deadly cancers. No more heatstroke. No more sweat stains ruining a first date. It’s time to take a stand.