Thank you...the support is so appreciated and needed... I need help to get through this time and dont know what that support will look like?

They always say, "you got this...", but who has me as a matter of fact; I felt that as it pertains to her life, lost to a senseless act. I wondered if this uncertainty would be my new solace in this life. I sat up nights trying to wait for the new days light, but realized that I that means another day living in that uncertain fright.

He says Im the "...glue that holds this family together...", maybe that true, but what about when they always have their hands out giving you something else they need YOU to do. It seems I gave them life but I keep asking myself, "...who waters you?..." "...Strong dont mean unshaken...it means we mastered fakin... its because we are showing up for them but it feels like its consistent time they are still takin!

I would like to rest in a living peace of getting my wants and needs, but they wake up with the wants and go to bed with the "gimme's".

You pray for them...show love on time, but when will they notice when you are losing your mind? "...It's tough out here in this these streets..." is new millennial sound, but how about the roar of the silence when your daughter is no longer around?

I ask these questions in my grief and I try to make sense of this whole thing, but I can't stand still enough to think about that that means. I pen this ode to just get off of my chest but Im not sure how to do a simple thing like what's best. Best for whom and best when...best for me...or best for them?

I can't mend the relationships she had with her friends nor mine with her...its too late, but what about the pain of not ever being able to, that gravy that hardened on my plate.

It's one thing to close a relationship as a choice because of toxicity or triggers they impose, but what am I to do when the choice was taken from me...my truth to disclose? Im not sure about this time in my life, but I am certain she is at peace. I guess that what I live for and what gives me ease. I am almost 60 and never knew what death would feel like yet still be alive, Im dying inside, but outside I have to survive.

But live for what, a purpose? a mission? I just want her to leave a plate in the sink again, so I can complain about her not doing the dishes! This is the support I need and wrote this mainly as my way to share my truth in this campaign! I thank you for not judging me as I tackle this soulful terrain.

I dont know what tommorw will hold or even what today will look like, but I'm sure I will have to do something to stay in the fight. She is worth it and so is this new law to help others fight the fight and be able to say, "...I won...", I just wonder in the meantime, if you can share this campaign to at least support the work that has begun!

Im not ok, nor claim to be, not on any given day. Im a Mom that lost a kid and lost herself along the way...

Thank you for your time, and I love you all, equally! I am just Ameena...Mom of the beautiful Zakiyah Hana Ali