"Politically speaking, subaltern voices must often undertake oppositional interrogations of official claims that emerge from those sanctioned mainstream intellectuals who purport expertise in the production and navigation of explanatory knowledge about the lives and survival of those deemed as other knowledge about which they themselves are tragically ungrounded and inexperienced. A central concern here, of course, is the extent to which a colonizing or what Edward Said (1978) called "orientalist" gaze is implicated in the western production of research expertise about the other. Thus, an accompanying question is to what extent do western political and economic interests distort the perceptions of the other, where an underlying hidden curriculum is the assimilation of the other, in order to preserve the classed, racialized, gendered, abled, sexual, and religious hierarchies or supremacies of Western cultural domination around the globe." Antonia Darder, Decolonizing interpretive research: subaltern sensibilities and the politics of voice

As an activist + artist during the Flint Water Crisis, I experienced this gaze as a spokesperson during the media frenzy. Enduring constant microaggressions from outsiders who were surprised how “articulate” we were to academics critiquing our grassroots efforts as we were not only had survived silencing for 18 months, but coordinating recovery efforts on the ground while sick and poisoned-all without pay. Still to this day, I have no idea where all the places my image has traveled around the globe. This gaze is not neutral; each media source, researcher, and documentary-each had their own story to tell and the community were merely participants in a story that they constructed from their own lens.

Having to perform my story over and over again with cameras in my living space caused me deep psychic pain. Therefore, I transformed my house into an exhibition space to reclaim my own story for my MFA thesis. It has become a form of entertainment and spectacle for those in the community to perform their pain in order to be seen and heard.

The Nourish Micro Grant was a small form of mutual aid to support Women Artists in Flint without having to perform their pain in order to receive funding given with no strings attached-it gave agency to these women to use it however they saw fit. The Nourish Muse show was to celebrate the work these women have done over the past year, and the show was developed as a collective. 

The concept was translated into a research proposal about access without conversation and consent from the collective. We all understand that students are still learning. The majority of the women in this collective are seasoned working artists, and the concept positioned the community as if we needed saving. We want co-creation, direct funding, and to be treated with dignity and respect. We want our work to be seen, not our pain. It is our work that contributes to the economy and cultural landscape in Flint. That is the story we want to be told, and nourished. We need to tell our own stories. We need repair.  

Much Love, Desiree

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