When I say "the most powerful character in all of Star Wars", what pops into mind? Anakin? Sidious? Abeloth? STEP ASIDE you pathetic, infantile pillocks!  The only person capable of taking on Death Stars by herself is, naturally, the most uninteresting, cliche and inept character the world has ever seen; Iden Versio. With a backstory that is most likely copy pasted or stolen from Legends, she is about as entertaining and likeable as watching paint dry. 

Regardless of the fact that she has about as much character development as those walruses on Ahch-to, her abilities are what really stand out about her. "Imagine if you will, a character that can roll 2187 times in a row, melt a full health bar in 2 seconds with her TL-50, suicide bomb the area in which she stands with her secondary fire, and stun her enemies for 2 seconds once every 15 seconds. It couldn't happen, but it could... in the TwEAlight zone". 

Regulars on the glitchy ****-fest that is battlefront 2 will know what is being referred to. A balanced game of HvV that could be quite fun, is ruined by some unloved amoeba that lacks the mental capacity to be good at any other character. Inducing more rage than listening to the claps from the F.R.I.E.N.D.S intro on repeat, this omnipotent heap of excrement will steamroll the enemy team into a nice and tasty 10-0 win. 

There will indubitably be some people who immediately comment "Lol gt gud scrub", perhaps because they believe convincing themselves of their own superiority will distract them from their crippling isolation and impotence. Before that, let me boast under the guise of countering said arguments, because simply boasting is frowned upon by societies that hand out participation awards.

I have played this mess since it came out. Loot boxes and imbalance didn't deter me from enjoying this game. I can confidently say this is one of the games I am better-than-average at, having practiced for a long time and being able to gather wins at high rates. Chewbacca, despite previously being powerful enough to bowcast an entire legion of villains to dust, was still not too much too handle, and with tactics could be killed. Grievous, Obi Wan, Dooku and Anakin took getting used to, but in the end are also mere mortals susceptible to penetration by lightsaber with the correct play-style. 

Iden however is another story. Nothing can be done to avoid getting absolutely sodomized by her arsenal of weapons, unless you all gang up on her, with whoever's left after 4 seconds to potentially kill her. No holy hand grenade, excalibur or ring can stop this Ark-of-the-covenant boulder from flattening you. And there is no crevice, no moon, no planet where she can't find you, and f*** you with infinity gauntlet/ TL-50. 

Why do I want her removed from the game? And why should the developers do so? If you've fought her in the game you won't need anything to understand, but if you haven't encountered her whatsoever (maybe because you don't play video games, or because you stick to game modes where she doesn't shop up much) you probably need more relatable analogies. She is that pothole in the road when youre on your way to work. She's that piece of food stuck between your teeth that simply won't come out. She's that iPhone charger that breaks whenever you breath on it. She is that stain on your sweater that remains unto eternity. She's that piece of furniture that you stub your toe on. She's that Uni lecturer that won't shut her gob about her personal life and fails to teach you how International law applies to MNCs. She's that piece of lego that impaled your foot as a child (or now if youre like me and have a collection). She's the hair that won't get off your comb no matter how many "how to's" you watch on YouTube. She's the tangled iPhone headphones that cost you hours every day. She's that one politician that makes you cringe and your skin crawl every time a word comes out of their mouth. She's that actor or actress who only ever pops out of their cave to cash in on some controversial issue to earn support from the snowflakes. She's that superhero movie that is constantly being praised and youre just like "it really wasn't that good". She's that automatic watch that'll never work again until you shake it like a polaroid picture. She's the lack of toilet paper in a public restroom. Last and not least, she's Ugandan knuckles, and as such, she should be killed and abandoned in the far corners of our minds. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Sign if you enjoy happiness, ignore the email change.org sent you for this if you have better things to do with your life that take 3 seconds, just like signing this petition would. Thank you all, and may whoever you believe in bless you and your day. If youre an atheist, I wouldn't know what to say so just have a nice day I guess.