My South Africa?
A beautiful place, with nature that takes your BREATH away and sunsets that can promise a better tomorrow.
If only I could believe that. If only I could truly enjoy the splender South Africa offer; If only I could sit through a sunset till after dawn; if only I can have trust in a better tomorrow.

Fact is, I do not

I live in constant fear, making sure I am not there till after dawn because in between the dark cracks of dawn hides the eyes of anger, hurt, revenge and murder. Awaiting its next victim; a victim that can very well be me. I feel it’s like we are taking turns, awaiting the day I will be the person upon revenge will be
taken for the simple reason because I’m women.
My life is in danger, I cannot enjoy it as a normal 26 year old, I cannot go out alone, and it’s not safe.
Yes, other places in the world is also not safe but at least the majority of crime victims get to keep their dignity and life’s.
Here in South Africa you die a cruel inhumane death, first they take out all their anger, rape you till your organs are shifted into different places all while they slowly cut your throat making sure you die a slow torturing death… and what did they do it for??
For the 55” tv set or the smart phone ?

NO!

They came to take away your right to life, they come to murder. Ofcourse it’s an emergency, it's a silent war, how can the world not see it? , they indoctrinate words of hate and anger into their children, spreading the hate over generations. With so much hate I get discouraged to find the rainbow everyone talks about. The media joyfully celebrates the
RAINBOW nation but I’m still searching for it.
I’m faced with numerous comments on a daily, why don’t we say something back to them?
Simple; I’d rather want to live, they will kill – murder or/ and rape you.
I used to walk to work in a busy cosmopolitan area. In my morning walks to work I would naturally be greeted by throat slitting gestures from men lurking on the corners of the busy city streets. Did I do something to offend them? NO! I did
absolutely nothing! Except being a woman walking to work on a completely normal day.
In another event, dad and I were driving to work in the early hours of the morning. We had to stop at the traffic light and as I was looking in the side mirror I saw something moving… there he was, another man attempting to force his way into the car, I screamed and dad accelerated just in time to get
away. This man even had the audacity to wave us goodbye while we got away.

My day at work that day was filled with fear, did anyone care? – No. Did everyone go on as normal? –
Yes.
It’s just a normal incident nowadays. Nobody really care and they just stay silent – I’m starting to think
that a real SILENT war has started in South Africa and everyone especially the government is keeping it
under covers for the rest of the world.
Is the people blind? Do they need spectacles to see what is going on? My life as a young woman in
South Africa is in danger. This is against everything a country should strive for.
I’m not just living to later be slaughtered, I am a human being just like them.
I also do not feel that our Police are going to be there for me when I do get slaughtered.
It’s all just pretend play.
They want me to be a civilized citizen in this country following rules and regulations, yet they could very
well be responsible for my death.
This is survival, my everyday life is survival, I’M NOT LIVING.
I keep an extra eye at my back wherever I go, I double check to see that the doors are locked, I invest in
higher fences, thicker steel surrounding and building my own prison, which I call home.
I jump in the car and immediately close the doors from the inside, I never walk alone, I never go to ride
my bicycle, I never stay out till late… why? Because I fear for my life. I stay at home in my prison because
that’s the only place I feel safe. Is this normal? I’m young I should be enjoying life, living life outside and loving life.
Everyday I wake up, expecting yet another awful story of death, murder, abuse, torture, rape…and yes it has
touched my home before. The darkness got hold of my brother, my hands shaking, my pulse beating, it’s as real as it can get. My brother in the hands of a gun point hostage driven robbery in his office. The
feeling, the trauma it all touched me deeper than I could ever imagine. It’s just getting worse, it’s all just
getting too much. I want to burst out and cry until the feeling can go away…. I can’t …I have tried, it’s
permanent, as permanent as the dying bodies found all around South Africa.
This is enough! How can this continue? Murders are getting more gruesome every single day.
Why isn’t things improving in South Africa? Why are the statistics of people killed more than the current Wars going on elsewhere in the world?
Why do I have to suffer ? Why can’t I live in peace in this promised Rainbow Nation?
Because I’m a woman?
I’m in line, awaiting my slaughter…

It’s not my South Africa anymore, my every footstep feels like a mere insult in the faces of those with hate in them. A quick trip to the grocery store needs to be examined before I get out of the car,
scanning for a “revenge seeker” lurking on the corner; ready to savage or insult my existence. In my thoughts I silently pray for no harm to come over me or my family today.
At night I’m thankful for another day gone by where my family and friends made it home safely and our doors and windows without trespassing.
I’m thankful to God for a lot of things but not as thankful to still be alive and to see my family alive.
Is this living or is this surviving?

A 26 year old South African born female citizen.

Take me back to where I belong.

Take me back to where I can be free.

Take me back home.