Help stop the mental, emotional and physical abuse our children are suffering
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My son is a victim. I would rather not label him but he is a victim along with many other children. He does not see himself as a victim but does say "I shouldn't have to deal with this" and he's right.
As his protector , guardian and mum I am being told by the people in power to remove his gut instinct. I am being told to give him the coping stratagies that cope with abuse. I am being told to reassure my child that his memories of his past experiences are not genuine concerns. I am being told that it is my duty as a parent to give him the tools and coping stratagies.
For the best part as adults we can remove ourselves from situations that we feel uncomfortable or unsafe in. Unfortunately for some they have not been so fortunate and it was fatal.
I am being told that it is unrealistic to expect that my childs abuser be supervised longterm.
I am told by solicitors and people responsible for speaking on behalf of children and that write reports that they know in advance what a judge is going to do. They are telling me that my sons abuser is going to be given unsupervised access. I am told that rapists, murders and druggies are all given access to their children. I am told that if found guilty of assult in June that he will still be given unsupervised access.
I am told that my son is picking up on my feelings like it is me that is responsible. I'm being told that if I stop going against his father that he will loose interest and through time he'll be less and less in my sons life. I'm being told that my son will come of age and cut ties himself.
Now as a parent we all do our best to what we know and to the best of our abilities.
I have raised my son to be vocal, expressive and confident. I want him to use his judgement and to know right from wrong.
I adore my son, he's 8 and such an articulate little boy. He knows right from wrong although he tries the wrong by times to check his boundaries. It's part of his learning.
As much as a child can, he has done what is right. He has identified that violence is not right or acceptable and he has spoken up. He's told me what's happened to him. He trusts me. He's communicated it to the Garda on two occassions, to the hospital on two occassions, to his school, family and anyone that will listen.
Why am I being told that I should now encourage and reassure him against his gut instinct that he must go unsupervised to the man that was physical with him and left him bruised.?
How are we as parents supposed to teach our sons and daughters of consequences when they are being made to go to their abuser?
How are we supposed to teach our children to stand up for what"s right and wrong when the system is failing them.
They as children have stood up, they've told us what has happened them and we are failing them. We are being told to teach them to cope with it and remain in an unhealthy and unsafe environment.
It is not acceptable that as sometimes victims ourselves that it is turned back on the parent that has also lived through the abuse to be blamed.
We do not play the victim card. We are strong, We are some of the lucky ones that got to walk away broken, bruised, wounded but alive.
We build our children up and not by means of highlighting what we went through but in our daily living. We get our children up in the mornings, we keep their routines, we involve them in clubs and show them how things should be because we are the most experienced in knowing how it shouldn't be.
We as parents of domestic violence or parents of children who have been assulted or abused OR manipulated and used as pawns should be suppported.
We are our childrens voice.
We should not have to pay €2000 for a report that they can predetermin the outcome a judge will come to.
We should not be forced to let our children out of our safety.
We should not be programmed to lie to our children and suffer the consequences and fatalities
We should not have to gain approval of the abuser to allow our children to gain access to counselling. They should not be allowed to deny this for our children. Every child should have rights to mental health services with only one signature necessary.
Please help me to protect my son. Help every parent that is doing their absolute best to protect their child/children. Help prevent the next bruise , the next tear and most importantly the next death.
Help change the phsychology of it to protect our children. Help make the people forcing the protector not to protect their child responsible.
BY NOW WE ALL KNOW THE SYSTEM IS WRONG FROM TUSLA TO JUDGES TO THE PHSYCHOLOGY AND MENTALITY OF IT ALL.
PROTECT OUR CHILDREN.
Sign now, share and be counted. Every child matters, every child counts.
I never want to witness another bruise on my child, do you...
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