So many nations have an incredibly badass national animal.  Scotland has unicorns, Wales has dragons, Greece has the phoenix, even North Korea has a bastardized pegasus!  How are we supposed to compete while we still use an archaic bird of prey with a receding hairline?  The bald eagle has served its purpose for this country, but we need to be able to compete for having an utterly incredulous mascot, and clearly with this the animal does not have to necessarily be real.  Changing it to be Florida Man would be a step in the right direction to represent America in one fantastical creature.  Now, there's one obvious flaw in this you may think you've seen, which is Florida Man not necessarily being an animal.  But to counter this, I'll just give a few headlines: "Florida man accused of attacking girlfriend with banana" "Florida man reportedly seen biting head of hamster in Spring Break party video."  In what way does this not scream animal?  In short, to compete for our dignity in the realm of incredible national animals, our leaders should change it to accurately reflect this nation at its most whimsical as Greece, Scotland, and even North Korea (and I know our leadership likes challenging them) have all done.