US Ban On Neckties
When disastrous decisions are made about women's health, they are always made by men in neckties.
Is this merely correlative? Perhaps. But could it be causative? Perhaps.
More research is needed. The evidence strongly suggests that restricting the flow of oxygen to our male politicians is harmful to women's health.
The outdated custom of necktie-wearing in formal spaces may have resulted in brain damage to the men who are forced to comply with it. We ask that our President place a temporary ban on the wearing of neckties by legislators until until our country's scientists can figure out what is going on.