The Jack Special has been a treasured Caledonian institution for the past 10-12 years. Countless dollars have been spent on the time-honoured tradition of cheap Dairy Queen hamburgers paired with a thirst-quenching soft-drink. It stands as a unifying tradition in our town, much like our famous nine-span bridge and subtle racism.

Despite the younger generation of Dairy Queen patrons lacking awareness of the famous Jack Special (largely due to an unfortunate lapse of promotion in recent years), those fortunate enough to remember its initial inception a decade ago, and its eventual rise to fame, have embraced the near-mythical status of such a special.

Who is Jack? Why does he have a special named after him? Why is it literally the best meal special? Why don't other Dairy Queen locations offer this special? What do I have to do to get MY own special at a fast food restaurant? Why hasn't there been a Canadian Heritage Minute for it? Where do babies come from?

Two burgers, one drink, taxes in, $5.

This small piece of Canadiana represents who we are as a nation, much like our love for hockey and misguided love for watery Tim Horton's coffee when we all know McDonald's clearly has the better brew.

It stands for Caledonia. It stands for Canada. It stands for freedom.

We need to rise up, and demand the return of the Jack Special. If not for ourselves, then for our wallets and widening waistlines. And our childrens' wallets and widening waistlines. And the wallets and widening waistlines of all future Caledonians.

I urge you, Caledonia, to visit Dairy Queen and request a Jack Special. When the clerks behind the counter deny your request, order something else, but do so with great regret. Frown, scowl, possibly even cry. After enough support is gathered, I'll call Dairy Queen or something. Maybe not though.

If we lose this, the terrorists have won.

#bringbackjack
Direct any questions/concerns to: @jacksclevername