We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of fried cheese.

On April 1st, 2021 the Culver's corporation taunted its legions of devoted fans with a vision of a new and glorious offering:  The Curderburger! This delightful and enticing menu item was described with the following words: "One big Wisconsin Cheese Curd under a lightly buttered, toasted bun. Isn’t it beautiful?"  Sadly, despite its beauty, it is also fictional at this time. A cruel April Fool's joke perpetrated on a world that has suffered enough over the last year. Therefore, I humbly request, nay DEMAND, that Culver's produce and sell the Curderburger to help heal a wounded nation.

Please Culver's. I beg you. Make the Curderburger a reality. Do it for your fans. Do it for America. Do it for all of humanity.