Petitioning coca-cola

Save Coke Zero!

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Dear Coca Cola, Change.org and Citizens of Australia,

Not many can say they’ve lived through their nightmare but the other day, I encountered something worse than Freddie Krueger in a sleep clinic. I’d had a few the night before, went to my local pub for a parmi and, still feeling a bit queasy and unable to get back on the sauce, went to order my staple pint of Coke Zero. At this point the bartender (we’ll call him Freddie due to him being the destroyer of dreams) informed me that:

     “We’re not serving Coke Zero anymore, but we’ve got this stuff called Coke No Sugar”.

My heart stopped, the blood drained from my body and all of a sudden the contents of last night’s shenanigans weren’t sitting well in my stomach. It had begun...

Which brings me to this.

The discontinuation of Coke Zero is a crime. Imagine breathing without oxygen, swimming without water, starting your day without coffee! These are all equally as ludicrous as taking away the act of – and I quote The Coca Cola Company 2009 – “opening up a can of happiness”.

So come on Coca Cola, listen to the people of Australia. We may be Coke addicts, but we’re the good kind. The kind that opens that can and spreads that happiness. Don’t let Freddie start popping up in my local Coles, or at the bowls club or god forbid when I’m watching a game of AFL with a pie in hand and a thirst for something to wash it down with. We get it, Zero means NO SUGAR. No need for a new recipe, no need for a new brand.

Let’s end this quickly so we don’t have another Barbecue Shapes fiasco on our hands, okay?

#PutYourCokesOut #StandTogetherAustralia

Yours Truly,

Australia

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