This country needs change.

Change in the form of a new national anthem.

Long have we stood idly by with our hats over our hearts to a dated, violent, and generally boring national jam.

By signing this, it shows the world that we demand change.

We unite under the belief that the national anthem be changed to Wu Tang Clan’s “Gravel Pit.”

Protect your neck America. In Big Baby Jesus’ name, amen.