Florida International University is fast running out of space. Students are crammed hundreds to a classroom, food shortages are a daily occurrence, there is no running water and cholera outbreaks are routine. As would be expected this has put quite the damper on the college experience for every student except those peddling cocaine on campus. 

If allowed to expand to adjacent lands currently leased to the Dade County Youth Fair, a front for a satanic cult, all of these problems would magically disappear. 

Please help make Florida International University truly great by relocating/banishing these cultists to the outer fringes of Dade County where the swamp and heat will consume their very bones. 

Finally, should FIU have thought of this before building a football stadium that houses an utterly unnecessary football team that has nothing to do with the job of a university, namely, educating impressionable young adults easily manipulated by local politicians? Probably.