This is a petition to halt Bristol City Council's latest vanity project; the installation of a motorised escalator to help people walk up Park Street. The project has an estimated construction cost of £5m; enough to end homelessness in Bristol, travel with First Bus for several weeks or get into Pryzm a few times. 

Aside from the cost, this stairway to hell will do nothing to help the growing number of people living with obesity - as if they don't have enough on their plate already. A cross-chub analysis found that riders would save around 300 calories by taking the escalator, although experts have pointed out members of the chublic would bypass Wok to Walk, GBK and Mission Burrito as they ascended. 

To cancel out the overheads, the council plan on opening a gift shop at the escalator terminus, where riders will be able to purchase photographs of themselves on the escalator, as well as themed merchandise such as T-shirts and fridge magnets. I for one struggle to see why anyone would want to buy a photo of themselves using an escalator. That said, I have a pretty dank fridge magnet collection at home so I might be tempted if there's a cool escalator one. Might go for a T-shirt as well if they've got my size. I really like gift shops ok.

The final nail in the coffin is the obvious safety risks associated with installing a 300m escalator onto a steep main road in the middle of Bristol. The escalator would be run 24/7, meaning it will be open to drunk students in the early hours of the morning, who will no doubt manage to trip and tumble downwards, trapping themselves in a never-ending cycle of escalating whilst falling.

Please sign and share this petition for the sake of the obese and the intoxicated, to support my blossoming fridge magnet collection and to put an end to the sickening madness that is the Park Street Escalator proposal.