QUOTES
"It's thanks to the wonders of genetic engineering that soon there will be an end to hunger, disease, pollution, even war. I have created things that will change the world for the better. For instance, here is a monkey with four asses. " (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
"You know, it's amazing what we can do with a little blood sample these days." (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
"How luscious. Our creature has come to fruition, boys." (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
"Oh my God! He only has one ass. He's of no use to me, I'll have to burn the room." (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
"Oh thank Buddha I found you boys." (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
"Sir, if making mutant animals spliced with humans is crazy… then… uhhhhh… hmmm… oh, nevermind." (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
"Boys, I'm sorry I've caused you such - inconvenience. I tried to play God, and I failed." (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
"I'm glad that you could all come. I can finally reveal who the father of Eric Cartman is. But first, I want to thank Kenny McCormick for sacrificing his life- " (Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut)
"Well, that's that. Thank you all for playing." (Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut)
"Mayor, this man has not been conscious for almost three years. He won't understand what he sees! He'll be frightened and confused!" (Prehistoric Ice Man)
"I most certainly do! The cause of global warming is Randy Marsh! It was Marsh's theory on spontaneous combustion that told everyone to fart all they want. Now all the methane from all those farts has ripped a hole in our ozone layer. We are all doomed to die!" (Spontaneous Combustion)
"My pleasure. I just love helping people." (Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus)
"I've done it, Kevin. I've successfully spliced this chipmunk with a piece of provolone chese. Do you know what this means, Kevin? No more will the world have to look in two different places for squirrels and provolone cheese. No more will mankind have to pick-" (Cartman Joins NAMBLA)
"Oh, Eric, I'm afraid it's not that simple. Genetic engineering has not yet evolved to the state where I can just make people." (Cartman Joins NAMBLA)
"It's true... Jack Tenorman was your father." (201)
"Ha, you Bible-thumpers are all alike. Don't play God, you'll pay for it!" (South Park: The Fractured But Whole)
"You see, Super Craig, once we know how to do things to animals, we can hopefully apply that to mankind." (South Park: The Fractured But Whole)
"You think having more asses is impossible? I tell you it's not." (South Park: The Fractured But Whole)
"Well, we'll look back at this and laugh if we live, which we won't." (South Park: The Fractured But Whole)
LIFE LESSONS
"All I ever wanted was to genetically engineer something useful, but I failed. Perhaps we shouldn't be toying with God's creations. Perhaps we should just leave nature alone, to its simple one-assed schematics. "
"Yes, puberty is a very wonderful thing, Stan. It'w what links us all together, makes us one."
"All this time I thought more asses were better than one, but it's what's inside the ass that counts." Life lessons