i was once a young boy who never saw a Luscious goatee until I stumbled upon Skallagrim's and i became a man and so i must make an excuse to lick thy beard/goatee for my life to come to an all time peek 

but not just me there are *hopefully* many other brave souls that want to lick thy beard/goatee as well, so join me today in this epic quest for the beard/goatee licking 

and so this is my only way to do it legally