Dear fellow degens and Solana traders,

Our beloved crypto space is under attack. Not by the SEC. Not by TradFi. Not even by Binance withdrawal issues. No, we are being rugged by the unlikeliest of villains—celebrities.

At first, it was washed-up influencers. Then it was failed musicians. But now? Presidents, First Ladies, and Dave Portnoy himself are getting in on the action. And every time, we fall for it.

We’ve seen it too many times:

🚨 Some washed-up actor launches a memecoin.

💰 Hordes of normies FOMO in.

⏳ The project gets hyped up with fake promises and paid influencers.

📉 The celeb dumps their bags on us.

💸 Everyone loses except them.

🛑 Javier Milei, the President of Argentina, preaches freedom but just dropped a token that locked liquidity faster than his country’s inflation rate.

🛑 Melania Trump already scammed us with her broken english—now she’s back with a memecoin. How is the former First Lady better at crypto rugs than most VC firms?

🛑 Dave Portnoy—he calls himself the “King of Memecoins” but is really the King of Getting in Early & Dumping on You Later. How many times will we let this man win?

🛑 Adin Ross—if you thought his livestreams were painful, try holding one of his coins. His community might be loyal, but your wallet won’t be after buying in. Also Adin, we all know you are gay!

🛑 Hawk Tuah Girl—you’re telling me she spat on crypto and we still bought in? Where’s our return on investment? Nowhere. That’s where.

🛑 FaZe Banks—somehow still finding ways to monetize his fanbase. At this point, we should just assume any FaZe-affiliated token is an exit scam.

🚨And the worst of all... HAYDEN. Man how is this guy even alive? 100M+ from the president rugpulls? This is disgusting....

 

We cannot let this continue. Crypto is supposed to be a degen’s game, not a playground for celebrities who don’t even know what a blockchain is.

I propose we BAN CELEBRITIES from launching tokens and from Crypto in general. No more cash grabs. No more pump-and-dumps disguised as “community projects.” Let them stick to reality shows and fake podcasts—not our liquidity pools.

If you’re tired of losing money to people richer than you, sign this petition. Let’s take back crypto from the clout chasers and restore it to the memecoin traders, degens, and true believers.

 

🚫 NO MORE CELEBRITIES IN CRYPTO 🚫

 

SIGNED,

Your Fellow Solana Meme Coin Trader

 

After signing, post about the petition on Twitter and tag @banallcelebs https://x.com/banallcelebs so we can spread the word!