This is my last update, and I will be including this with the letter I plan to send to the school board today. 

In response to some questions I’ve had regarding the letter:

Echoing that the way a person dresses is a “distraction” as a reason for keeping the dress code as is: I repeat, what “distraction” does clothing cause? Who is being distracted? What are they doing to show that they are distracted? Are they not responsible for their own actions? If a student decides to wear a pair of jeans that shows the skin of their thigh, and are sitting down 90 percent of the time, who is being distracted enough that it would force the other person to lose valuable class time to change their outfit — all while the person being “distracted” is allowed to continue on in the class. Also, how are shoulders distracting? Why are people distracted by an adolescent’s shoulders? It’s not lewd. It’s a shoulder. It seems ridiculous to limit tank top straps. As for crop tops, boys in the school show their stomachs all the time — in swim class, gym, and they even played a shirtless football scrimmage recently. I would like an explanation as to why one stomach is more tolerable and acceptable than another.

That dress codes are “boundaries” and that there are “consequences for those that choose not to follow rules”: There are laws and rules that are regularly reevaluated and revised or abolished. Perhaps we should not be unilaterally dismissing these concerns and instead conducting a thorough look at these “rules” and asking ourselves some difficult questions. I understand why it’s difficult to look at this objectively. Most of us have been raised to “protect” children, especially girls. We spend an inordinate amount of time telling them what to wear and how to look so that they do not “send the wrong message” or “distract” others. Where is the personal responsibility in this? If a student wants to wear something that is not directly showing a “private part”, what is the actual harm? Take time to actually answer the question. Are they harming anyone else? No. Are they responsible for anyone who could actually allow themselves to become distracted enough to make a scene? No. It seems that instead of preaching rules and consequences to those simply choosing one style of dress, we should be turning to those distracted and echoing that argument while also teaching personal responsibility. We should not be grooming students to not be responsible for their actions. We would not tell the driver of a car that the person they were distracted by before crashing into the telephone pole is responsible for the accident, would we?

That people don’t want to see various “parts” of a student “hanging out” or that they look like a “prostitute”: How many instances have there been in the school where an actual “part” was so visible that the student needed to be removed from classes? Why are people associating a teenager who likes their body and wants to wear clothes that they find flattering with a person who gets paid to have sex? Why does your mind associate these two things? Why are you projecting that onto a child? Why are you leaping from jean rips to things hanging out? Are we so threatened by adolescent bodies that we must shield ourselves from them? Are we sending a message that a young body is indecent and must be protected from the eyes of adults or their peers? This seems like an opportunity for more self-reflection and the re-establishment of trust between parents and children and students and teachers/administrators.

The use of the word misogynist and that the dress code is not sexist: I stand by my statement that some of the portions of the dress code are clearly sexist and appear to be written with a prejudice against the female or female-identifying student body. Again, if we add up how many of the male or male-identifying students have been dress coded for the items highlighted in the first letter and compare it to the female or female-identifying students, is it the same? If it is not, then the policies are disproportionately affecting women.

Using the terms “modest” and “decency”: Modesty and decency are subjective terms. In a public school, who determines what is “modest” or what is “decent”? Shouldn’t the students who are “distracted” and all the rest have a say in this? They are the ones living and breathing school life every day. Or are there teachers who are “distracted” as well? And why and how, exactly, are they distracted?

To wrap this up, the original letter and petition were meant to spark conversation and change. Clearly, there is a need for it and that's why it's being brought up now. The dress code is vague and overreaching and, many of the items — unless there is proof otherwise — have an effect on gender over another. If we don’t want to see underwear or behinds through holes in jeans, say exactly that. The fingertip rule is excessive. A thigh should not be sexualized. It is not a distraction as it is. It is a thigh. If we don’t want to see bras under tank tops, then say it. But also think about that. Because a bra is not sexual or a distraction. It is a piece of clothing. A shoulder is not sexual. It is a shoulder. A crop top? Again, what is sexual about a stomach? And if it is sexual or “immodest”, then why are male students not forced to keep their stomachs covered during pool? We cannot assume that one gender should be shielded from sexualization while the other is “safe”.

I am asking the board to consider my statements. Take a truly objective viewpoint, and if you cannot, remove yourself from the conversation. Involve the students. Hold a vote. Whatever works best. We cannot keep holding one gender responsible for the thoughts and actions of another.

The letter and petition were never meant to be an attack on the school board or administration — they were meant to be a signal that a conversation is needed. I know and respect the members of the school board and have even vehemently defended them in the past. I understand the best way to spark action is to send a “rallying cry”, so to speak, and see if there are others who feel the same way. And since the petition is nearing 100 signatures, I would say there are plenty of reasons for the school board to take a renewed, objective, and comprehensive look at the dress code, and I thank them in advance for considering this request. We can only achieve change when we step outside of our comfort zones.