Edited!

I am a mum trying to honour my son and the law is standing in my way allowing my ex partner to keep that bit of control ✋️🛑

⚖️ WHAT THE LAW CURRENTLY SAYS AND WHY IT’S FAILING US

Right now in the UK, when a grave is registered in joint names, both owners must give their consent before a headstone can be placed - no matter what. There is no automatic process to remove someone from the deeds, even when they’ve been convicted of serious crimes against the other owner, are in prison, or are subject to a restraining order. they both hold the exact same power. That gap in the law is what I’m trapped by, and it’s what needs to change.

It feels like the law is supposed to protect me but in this, it doesn’t. The legal system is meant to stand up for women who have suffered abuse, yet in this most personal and heartbreaking part of my life, it has let me down completely. It is failing to protect the rights of abused women - leaving me, still trapped by the very person who hurt me most. Instead of stepping in to help me grieve and rebuild, the law is giving him the final say over my son’s resting place. That isn’t justice - that’s a system that simply isn’t working for victims like me that’s being failed by the very system that should be on my side.

💔 MY STORY 👇🏼

My beautiful son passed away in 2022. His grave at Coney Hill Cemetery, Gloucester, is registered in both my name and his father’s name. His father was sentenced to 21 years in prison in January, serving a minimum of 10 years, for serious violent crimes committed against me. A 10-year restraining order is also in place - he cannot contact me in any way.

Yet incredibly - he still has the legal power to stop me from placing a headstone on our son’s grave.

This means more than I can possibly put into words. To me and my daughter, this headstone isn’t just a stone - it’s the place where we can go to feel close to him, lay flowers, speak to him, and sit together remembering the boy we love more than anything. It’s where we will mark his birthdays, his anniversaries, and every quiet moment in between. Having that place properly marked and honoured means everything to us - it’s the one thing we can give him now, and it breaks my heart that anyone can stand in the way of it. I have tended and maintained our son’s grave completely on my own since the day we laid him to rest. For his funeral, we had a beautiful Liverpool Gates of Heaven wreath made. When the flowers died, I carefully stripped it away and have looked after his resting place ever since. The temporary frame I’ve used has fallen apart so many times, and I’ve replaced the photograph over and over again, always trying to keep things nice for him. I’ve finally reached my goal - I’ve saved for and chosen something truly beautiful for him and now I can’t even put it in place. It’s about time all my hard work paid off. I want to be able to visit my boy’s resting place without constantly worrying about what needs replacing next, pulling weeds, topping up the soil, scrubbing stained mud off everything I’ve put there. I want to sit with him, not constantly work on his grave. I want peace, not another battle.

I have done everything properly and stayed completely civil. I couldn’t contact him directly, so I went through the Victim Liaison Officer and cemetery authorities to send the simple paperwork, just asking for permission to place the headstone, while he kept all his rights to the grave. The Liaison officer confirmed he received it on 8 April 2026 - but he has refused to sign or send any necessary paperwork back allowing me to do so. Not because he cares, but because he still wants control, even from prison.

This is so unfair - on me, and especially on our daughter. Our daughter has already lost so much. She deserves a proper place to visit her brother, lay flowers, and speak to him. Instead, we are all being punished by the same person who hurt our family most.

I should be grieving and healing. Instead, I am fighting the system.

I have saved every single penny for over four years on my own - to give my son the memorial he deserves. I’ve tended his grave faithfully all this time. I desperately wanted it ready for the 5th anniversary of his passing this February and his 13th birthday this March. Milestones that mean everything to us and they’re slipping away because one person says no.

I have recently submitted an application to the Family Court. My aim is to have my ex-partner’s name removed from our son’s grave deeds and to change my daughter’s surname, a vital step toward us having a fresh start. However, I have been told it could potentially take up to 10 months before the application is even accepted and heard by the court. To make this even harder, I will be representing myself throughout this process, I have reached out to multiple solicitors and none are able to take my case on legal aid. The quotes I received were completely out of reach - even just a 45-minute consultation cost more than I could afford as a single parent, let alone the full legal fees that would come after it. It would only be the beginning of the costs. So I am left fighting this battle entirely on my own. it shouldn’t have to be this hard for anyone. Trying to win my own case won’t stop me from pushing for the bigger change this country needs. This petition isn’t just about me - it’s for every grieving person who finds themselves in the same heartbreaking situation, feeling trapped and unable to find a way out. We deserve better than have to fight our abusers in court just to do right by our children.

✍️ THE CHANGE WE NEED — FOR EVERYONE

I am asking for this law to change:

✅ When someone is imprisoned for serious crimes against the joint owner of a grave — their name should be AUTOMATICALLY removed from the deeds.

✅ No consent needed. No costly court battle. No more control from prison.

No parent should be blocked from honouring their child. No child should be denied a place to remember their sibling. No survivor should still be controlled by their abuser - not even for one more day.

Please sign this petition and stand with us. Help us give my son the lasting tribute he so richly deserves. Let’s do this also for my daughter, and for every family who deserves the right to grieve in peace. 💙

Thank you so much for your support - from the bottom of my heart 🙏🏼