Change.org wanted me to use an overly verbose AI-generated nonsense story, but you deserve better. You deserve straight talk and for your time to be respected. 

I love Halloween. I love decorating. I love attention. I love the Home Depot 12' tall skeleton. 

I have been told that I may not purchase one and put it in the yard. That it is not only my house and that other people's opinions also count. Fine, I concede that fact. However, the skeleton, who I will now refer to as Roger, benefits the entire household and the neighborhood at large. 

Here is why Roger is good for us all: 

1. Our uptight neighbor, Mary, will lose her mind, especially when she finds out that I believe...

2. Skeletons are festive year round. This is not a novel concept. People dress up their skeletons for Christmas, Valentine's Day, even beach parties. This is not a seasonal investment. There is no storage to worry about. Roger will change his attire and props to match the season and current political environment. He will not leave the yard 

3. We live in a miserable timeline where every day brings some new, terrible surprise in the headlines. What if we could be the source of whimsical, fun surprises for our community? Our yard is on the corner of a street with a lot of foot traffic. People will enjoy seeing what new shenanigans Roger is getting up to every time we change him up. And we will have joy as we plan and execute the latest and greatest scenarios for him. 

4. I deserve it. After all, why shouldn't I have it?  I work hard. I pay my dues. I am adult with a job and a home and a family. When you put it into perspective, a 12' skeleton is honestly the least I deserve. But I'm not asking for more. 

5. It encourages creative problem solving. So, we have an idea for a seasonal display. Now we get to have fun AND exercise our brains as we figure out how to bring our vision to life in an aesthetically pleasing, weather-proof, and safe way. Everyone loves a good creative challenge and it keeps our aging brains sharp