Petition for Nintendo to cancel Pikmin 3DS.
Petition for Nintendo to cancel Pikmin 3DS.
We, as gamers, have had to suffer a Pikmin drought for 4 years. We heard the hype and heard the promises, and we were finally about to receive absolution on September 1, 2016 with the announcement of a new Pikmin game. We saw the trailer, and what we saw left our mouths agape at the SLAP IN THE FACE we received from Nintendo of America that a new Pikmin game would play differently from the previous games in the series. We have been waiting for 4 years for a new Pikmin game. But we have been denied again despite constant begging and pleading.
But enough is enough. This INSULT will not stand. It's time for Nintendo to start listening to their fans and make a REAL Pikmin game. This petition is for the summary cancellation of Pikmin 3DS, the announcement of a new Pikmin game, a PROPER title starring Orima and taking place on Earth and nowhere else.
And for their REPEATED SLIGHTS and INSULTS, we call for the summary resignations and blacklisting of Reggie Betray-Aime, Bill Trinen, JC Rodriguez, and whoever that girl was. THIS IS THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR DISAPPOINTING US.
FURTHERMORE, this petition is to force Nintendo to formally accept a fan game, Pikmin: The Testament of Fortitude's Error (I haven't finished the title yet) as a token of good faith for VICIOUSLY RUINING and CENSORING OUR CHILDHOODS (Including, but not limited to, mine.)
Meet all of these demands and I'll stop my "spirited correspondence" to your twitter accounts and email when my mother lets me use the internet.
I've been receiving numerous emails and messages regarding exactly what constitutes a "Pikmin" game. Some have stated that this new sidescrolling "platformer" is in the same genre of the original games, that being 3D platforming/adventure.
Let me tell YOU, that as a fan of the original games, I know what makes a Pikmin game better than the people who masquerade as its creator.
1. This game is clearly based off the cinematic classic "Planet of the Apes" in which an astronaut is stranded on a strange planet that turns out to be Earth. Since Orima (I refuse to call him by his SLAVE NAME, or his "localized" name Olimar) is RETURNING to an Earth he already knows about, that means the game has already moved away from its inspiration.
2. The game gets Orima's characterization all wrong. He's supposed ot be brave and courageous, with a take-no-nonsense attitude, ready to take on all comers, FROM EVERY ANGLE. Putting him in a sidescroller means he can only take on comers from ONE ANGLE, maybe two. What is this sudden weak characterization of Orima and where did it come from?! In my head (and not to mention my fan game, Pikmin: The Testament of Fortitude's Error, and my fanfic Orima: A Bulborb in Time) Orima was never this weak and ineffectual. This character is not yours anymore, Nintendo! It's the fans' now! Especially me!
3. I hate to say it, but I think Japanese developers may not have what it takes to make a Pikmin game great anymore. They clearly don't understand their own characters, and they seem to prefer their Orima's as befuddled short salarymen-types instead of the BADASS carrot slingers they have become emblazoned in the minds of the Western fans. It's time for the Japanese developers to take a step aside (maybe two because they're short) and let some Western studios take over all aspects of their franchises, like Epic or Rocksteady. The original developers can stay on as advisers, but it's time for some new, American blood to save these franchises by making them BADASS again.
That's it for this update, but stay strong Pikmin faithful. We'll take back our favorite game and show the original developers how to make great games again. (they may have to look closely. They have small eyes too.)
Hopefully, we can reach 100 signatures, and I can show mom's boyfriend TODD that I'm not wasting my time and JEROME in Language Arts that I'm not a "gaywad." Thank you for your support, and I'll provide updates as necessary.
Wow, nearly 250 people have joined our CAUSE. There can be no other reason than a unified purpose and resistance to bad video games. They WILL listen to us if they value the safety of their jobs and company.
I've seen this petition spread through the internet and have seen some cretins think this is some kind of prank or joke. THIS, is what CENSORSHIP looks like. They are trying to destroy the movement that was only created in a few days time with ridicule and snide remarks. Even today I received an instant message from JEROME who FEIGNED INTEREST in my petition just so he could get the URL for it. He signed it and then sent me this:
"hey gaywad. this is were you and your loser people hang out? i signed your shit petition, gaywad. still laughing with my bruhs bout what you did in class.
The ENEMIES of fandom are everywhere. They laugh at your fanfiction, they scorn your tastes, they call you names from their DISEASED section of the internet. NO MORE! We will no longer be CENSORED by shills and fanboys. Especially not foreign shills and fanboys.
Let's make it to 500 signatures and make our voices heard! They WILL CHANGE the content of their games to our tastes, and we'll show the world who truly controls the creation of art.
I've been continuing to receive support from TRUE Pikmin fans all over the world through email. This is very much appreciated, but at the same time I've also been getting requests to spell out exactly what would make a good Pikmin game. This... "request" was usually asked in a SNIDE way with a "if you're so damn smart" comment, but I'll let that slide because I'm polite.
To make a good Pikmin game is easy. Just MAKE A GOOD PIKMIN GAME. Here's how.
1. INCLUDE VOICE ACTING- and none of that "bubbawubbabdingdong" crap. Actual voice acting. And get rid of the text. Nobody likes reading. This isn't the 3rd Century, Nintendo!
2. MODERN GAME ELEMENTS - Aren't you tired of Nintendo being stuck in the past? Don't you TRUE FANS want them to come into the future and stop making games for children? Enough with the baby-ish Pikmin crap! We need modern elements like survival counters. Imagine Orima having a hunger meter and you needed to eat to survive alongside your Pikmin. This could include the long-awaited and much desired MORAL CHOICE SYSTEM to Pikmin. Imagine Orima having to choose between letting his Pikmin starve so that he could eat, denying food to young Pikmin children for his own selfish needs. Or even better, CANNIBALIZING Pikmin just to survive, having to LISTEN to the scream as Orima eats them. This isn't an uncommon element in Pikmin fandom. In fact, a popular internet fanfic "Orima: A Bulborb in Time" deal with just such a hunger issue with our intrepid explorer. This is the stuff modern games are made of, and it's what TRUE Pikmin fans demand.
3. ORIGINAL JAPANESE SCRIPT - It's high time we realize that Pikmin comes from Japan. Nintendo of America may HATE Japan, especially Reggie Heel-Betray, but I and the TRUE Pikmin fans don't. So the aforementioned voice acting will be done entirely in Japanese, using top Seiyuu talent. And absolutely NO translation. NONE. Anything less than this will be an attempt at CENSORSHIP. Nintendo of America may not appreciate them, but I've knelt down and looked into their tiny little eyes, so I know this is how to appreciate Japanese people.
4. BRING ORIMA BACK - He hasn't been seen in a video game since Pikmin 2, and not a GOOD one since the original. And I don't mean that BETRAYAL of a characterization in this ABOMINATION of a Pikmin game for the 3DS. Bring back the intrepid explorer that we used to know. Pikmin obviously gives off a vibe of George Taylor from the 1968 classic film Planet of the Apes, played by Charlton Heston. There he arrived as a distressed astronaut, and then a CONQUEROR, taming the savage Pikmin to do his bidding, and sacrificing them for his own advancement. This... new "game" has a MONGRELIZED CARICATURE of Orima, a meek Japanese salaryman-type who shies away from danger. So much so that I and TRUE Pikmin fans are alright with him being referred to by his BASTARDIZED moniker Olimar. He shows no dominion over these Pikmin, DESTROYING the original intent of the character. CANCEL THIS GAME, and make a proper Pikmin this time, starring its main character. Stop playing around with our childhood's, Nintendo.
5. SEXUALITY - It's time to talk about it, Nintendo. It's not the early 2000's anymore. You're going to have to confirm Orima's sexuality somewhere on the scale. The TRUE fans are tired of the subtle hints and wishy-washyness. Just confirm it one way or the other so we can move on, storywise. Although, if he were to be of a Non-standard sexuality, that could lead to potential possibilities, especially when COMBINED with point #2.
That's all I can remember from my sheet. Principal Hardin took them away from me after class on Friday and I can't remember the rest. I WAS going to play some more of my favorite series, but Nintendo is too busy ruining that for me, thank you very much. I think I've made my point clear about what makes a GOOD Pikmin game, and Nintendo should pay attention.
Stay Strong, Pikmin faithful.
I've received some comments and emails lately stating that a four year wait for a PROPER Pikmin game is nothing compared to other series like Metroid.
What is this CRAP?!
I like Pikmin. It is my favorite game of all time. I don't care about other games. Why should I be patient when my favorite series is DESTROYED?! Is there a waiting period for INJUSTICE?! Am I to be patient before I make my voice HEARD?!
Do you think the Zelda fanbase should have waited when their series was BASTARDIZED with kiddy graphics in 2003 and Motion control in 2011?
Do you think the Mario fanbase should have waited when their series was turned into some kind of "Paper" GARBAGE in 2001?
Should the FIRE EMBLEM fans have waited while their favorite series was turned into OTAKU GARBAGE in 2012?
Do you think the Metroid fanbase should have waited while their series was repeatedly DESTROYED by turning into some like of HALO CLONE in 2001, a STORYLESS multiplayer shooter in 2006, a GIMMICKY motion game in 2007, some BETRAYAL of the entire series in 2010, and another multiplayer shooter this year. They even made a DAMN PINBALL GAME. What gives Nintendo the RIGHT to do this?! They must EARN their right to "innovate" from the fans!
Don't even get me STARTED on Kid Icarus. They turned the original stoic, silent Greek hero into some kind of ANIME KID. He talks way too much! And don't even get me started on the CONTROLS.
Some have even had the BRASS BALLS to say that "You already got a good Pikmin game with Pikmin 3?"
HOW DARE YOU! Pikmin 3 was another ABOMINATION on the name of this hallowed series! The brave Orima is replaced by three random characters nobody remembers that name of. Orima is reduced to a DAMSEL IN DISTRESS as other people have HIS ADVENTURE for him, and he only shows up as a cameo at the end. The original BADASS ASTRONAUT CONQUERER reduced to a mere plot point. Say no more to me of this FILTH. The last good Pikmin game was released in 2004, and I ACCEPT NOTHING ELSE!
I will continue this petiton because I CAN! YOU won't get any say in the matter. NOT now, not ever. TELL me one reason I should listen to the clamors of censorship? THIS IS a quest to save Pikmin from being destroyed. It is not A JOKE to me.
Keep the fire and beat back the shills and the cucks, Pikmin faithful!