Message from Lovejoy

Dear Plebs

Following normal DVSA procedure we're going to give you as little information, as late as we can, and when we do, you'll usually find it will either be wrong or changed at the last minute.

All of this wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for the fact that NASP holds us totally unaccountable, and we refuse to consult with the majority of instructors who aren't members of NASP and yet still pay us to be on the register.  (suckers!)

Based on this we introduced a 10-day gap before tests restarted. We came up with the idea of a 10-day gap and then consulted with NASP who said they wanted a two or three-week gap.

We told them they were having a 10-day gap.

NASP have immediately issued a statement celebrating this new era of partnership working.

About Me
I have no qualifications in driver training at all, but to the nay-sayers, Eric and Tinker tell me, that holding a full licence means I am more qualified than 100% of people that turn up for an L test, so there!

Impact of the pandemic on the driver training industry
I want you to know we appreciate how difficult the past 12 months have been for you and your pupils, but not for me as I'm on £130,000 a year, plus all the civil service benefits that I've continued to receive, while you've all been on the dole plebs!

If there's another lockdown, at least the weather will be better in the summer so I can get some gardening done, but let's hope Waitrose doesn't run out of Vegan Humous like last time!

Our communications
We know many of you felt unhappy with the way we have communicated with you during the pandemic, and this will continue. You might wonder why It's taken me three months to send you all an email, although I'm a digital expert.

Well would you believe it? Eric just found it, still in the Outlook drafts folder where it's been sat for the last three months. I thought I'd pressed "send", but I'm sure you'll agree this sort of mistake could have happened to anyone.

Despite overseeing an agency that had a budget surplus of 0.8million in 2019, a website, Facebook page and twitter account, and eventually sending this email multiple times to everyone, as I didn't think to filter out the duplicate email addresses in the big excel spreadsheet I'm using here in my conservatory, I'm going to continue to rely on NASP to share more information with you plebs.

Recovery Plan
We're keeping this secret from you. We've told NASP but we're certainly not telling you plebs what our plans are.

We'll just keep taking your money, after all we've got this wage bill to pay for all our employees that have been off on full pay all this time.

Encouraging learners to pass first time

Anyway plebs, Eric and Tinker pinky-swear to me, that the fact the pass rate has suspiciously remained the same since the dawn of time is nothing to do with us. It's all down to you.

So, from now on can you please start giving people some lessons before you bring them to test. We want no more of this 1hr moving off and stopping, and then straight round the test centre.

Keeping you updated
I urge to keep up to date with the NASP website, the more people we can con with NASP, the less the chance of us being held to account.

Yours Ever


Lovejoy
DVSA - Serving you right