For reasons known only to them, the English and the Welsh voted to leave the EU. C'est la vie.

This leaves a spot free at the EU dining table for another English speaking country: New Zealand. With the Queen of England as our head of state, and the Union Jack on our flag, we're ready to go. 

Our accent is unique, but given some time we thunk y'ull git yoost ta it.

Most importantly, New Zealand loves the EU. As our Prime Minister John Key said: "If we had the equivalent of Europe on our doorstep ... we certainly wouldn't be looking to leave it."

Some might point out that New Zealand is not in Europe, but nor is French Guyana (Source: Jason O Mahony http://jasonomahony.ie/why-canada-australia-and-new-zealand-should-join-the-european-union/). Touche.

Limited time offer: If New Zealand's application is accepted, then automatic citizenship will be extended to all British people who voted "remain". 

Please sign my petition to support New Zealand's application to replace the UK in the EU.