Listen up, folks. We have a global crisis on our hands, egos are reaching catastrophic, Godzilla-tier levels and it’s getting out of control. These walking self-importance factories are decreasing the population average IQ and EQ, turning every conversation into a one-man TED Talk nobody signed up for.

Studies from the Institute of Made-Up But Probably True Facts of Harvard (source? trust me, bro) show a 45% increase in people thinking they’re the main character while the rest of us are stuck as unpaid extras GTA 5 NPC's. 

That’s why we’re calling for an immediate halt to these ego expansions, and if necessary, a tactical extraction of their place of residency followed by appropriate disciplinary actions. This isn’t just a fight for logic and reason. This is a fight for our collective brain cells before they get permanently nerfed in the next update.

Sign now. Before they convince themselves this petition is actually about someone else.

Goal: 1,000,000 signatures (or at least one)