Classic Whovians remember when the Doctor didn't have a sonic screwdriver to solve all his problems. Kettle and a ball of string, his scarf, Victoria's scream amplified to lethal levels — who needs a magic wand to solve every problem? That's just crazy talk. Fans would never put up with that kind of lazy scriptwriting.

Yes, later classic Doctors used the sonic screwdriver — as a screwdriver, or at least as a sonic device to bugger up electronics. Even then, it was destroyed when writers started relying on it as a plot device. Several Doctors got by perfectly fine without.

But modern Whovians worry that the Doctor just isn't the Doctor, if he's not clutching a phallic object. So be it. Let's bring back that handy scanner from The Time Monster, which the Doctor used to use to keep tabs on his bestie, the Master.

Now can we please give Capaldi a Chumblies Christmas Special? Thanks.