The year was 2022. It was a dark and stormy day, I was writing a story and had to put a list of three items. The moment I went to write it down, POW! I was told, "Journalism doesn't use the Oxford Comma." It was the most terrifying thing to ever happen to me. It was horrifying, disgusting, and absolutely awful. From that day onward I have dedicated my life to establishing the Oxford Comma back into the lives of everyone. 

You need to sign this petition or you will let the evil fascist, socialist, and anarchist illuminati hold onto the power they have over the Oxford Comma.

This is the most important, the most impactful, and the most immediate issue plaguing our generation and we all need to take courageous, careful, and calculated steps to solve the problem and bring back the Oxford Comma!

Anyone who does not sign this petition is a communist, a drug addict, a felon, a socialist, a fascist, and a murderer. That is not a correlation; it is a correlation. If you do not sign this petition, you will immediately start robbing banks, overthrowing democracies, and using commas improperly! 

If you know anyone who has not signed this petition. Get to them now they need to sign it. The link to share it is https://chng.it/7MmtbSMBSZ if you send it to them now you can save them from a life of poor grammar, improper punctuation, and failure.

According to Oxford Statistics (1843), ninety-nine percent of Americans in America use the Oxford Comma. That means that if you don't use the Oxford Comma, you are the outlier and need to join the rest of the world in accuracy and truth.

Of the 32.08 million people living in Mozambique, all 32.08 million of them want for you to sign this petition and restore the Oxford Comma. If you do not sign this petition you will be letting down about 32.07 million people (0.01 million don't really care). How could you do that? You are a horrible person if you don't sign the petition.

In 1914, the Archduke of Austria-Hungary was shot. Why? Because he never signed this petition. If only he had signed this petition, he could still be alive now. Don't be like the Archduke of Austria-Hungary Franz Ferdinand, sign the petition.