Let’s be honest with ourselves: No adult in this country actually knows how to spell "Mississippi" without bouncing around like a cheerleader in their head. M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. Why are we forcing our hard-working citizens to endure a spelling test every time they want to talk about a giant body of water? It is time for a change.
On a more serious note, the Mississippi River is the literal lifeblood, history, and unifying spine of our nation. Stretching over 2,300 miles, it touches ten different states and drains parts of 32 others. It is an irreplaceable economic and geographic pillar for the entire country. If any natural feature deserves to represent the whole nation, it is this one.
The current name comes from an Anishinaabe word meaning "Great River." While we deeply respect its Indigenous roots, the river has physically evolved into a symbol that belongs collectively to all of modern America. It connects the North to the South, bridges the East to the West, and carries more than 500 million tons of freight a year. It isn't just a regional waterway; it is the highway of our economy.
Renaming it to the "River of America" does two great things at once. Seriously, it formally recognizes its status as our country's defining natural monument and gives us a unified geographic identity. Comedically, it saves future generations of elementary school children from typos and mental breakdowns.
We call upon the United States Board on Geographic Names (BGN) and the U.S. Congress to officially update federal maps and legislation to rename the Mississippi River to the River of America.
Sign this petition to unite our geography, honor our greatest river, and finally defeat the spelling tyranny of the extra 'S' and 'P'!