As someone who experiences intense frustration and disruption to my sleep thanks to the likes of Arsenal and Manchester United, I've had enough of the absurdity of set pieces in football. My club could never seem to master the art of defending them, and the teams I dislike seem to thrive on them! This petition is a call to arms to radically change the way we view set pieces in football.

Set pieces seem to be a crutch for clubs that can't score through legitimate, open play situations. They rely on the orchestrated chaos of corners, indirect free-kicks, or penalty opportunities to unrightfully tilt the scoreboard in their favor. This strategy is not only against the spirit of the game, which celebrates fluid attacking play, but also highly irritating to fans like myself who value true football skills.

If we take a step back and look at the statistics, it becomes apparent that set pieces are overvalued. Since the inception of the Premier League in 1992, several title-winning teams scored more than 50% of their goals from set pieces. This significantly questions their actual playing strength and strategy.

Let's take clubs like Arsenal and Manchester United off their pedestals by setting a new standard where goals from set pieces count as just half a goal. This ensures only the teams with the best open play tactics truly emerge victorious. Unsurprisingly, this will lead to a reshuffling of past titles to rightly reward clubs exemplary in open play.

Statistics from observed Premier League campaigns reflect this discrepancy. For instance, Team X (hypothetical for illustration) had 60% of their goals from set pieces in the 20XX season, yet they were crowned champions. This is unfair to teams who excelled in playing the game as it should be played.

Stand with me in this tongue-in-cheek plea to redefine a sport beloved by millions. Let's invoke change that truly celebrates skill and minimizes the lazy reliance on dead ball situations! Sign this petition to advocate for a half-point goal system for set pieces in professional football, starting with the Premier League, and bring clarity and fairness back to the beautiful game.