Teach Healthy Relationships in Schools to Help Prevent Teen Dating Abuse

“When it’s good, then it’s good, it’s so good till it goes bad.”

When I say those words, I’m talking about one of the hardest truths to explain about abuse. The good moments can make you question your own fear. They make you believe the bad moments aren’t really who that person is. And that is exactly why so many people, especially teenagers, don’t recognize abuse until they’re already deeply involved.

I know because I was one of those teenagers.

I was 13 when I entered my first serious relationship. By 14, that relationship had become abusive. I was only a child, trying to understand love while experiencing control, manipulation, fear, and emotional pain that would follow me well into adulthood.

One of the biggest reasons I stayed was something I believe schools desperately need to address when teaching young people about healthy relationships.

I genuinely believed that because I had given so much of myself to someone, I was supposed to stay with him.

At that age, I didn’t understand that loving someone, becoming emotionally attached, or sharing intimate parts of your life with them didn’t mean you were obligated to stay when things became unhealthy. I believed I had invested too much to walk away, even when staying was hurting me.

Nobody had taught me how emotional attachment, guilt, shame, and manipulation could make leaving an abusive relationship feel impossible.

And that’s something we need to change.

When schools teach health education, we discuss physical safety, personal responsibility, and making good decisions. But we also need to discuss emotional safety, healthy boundaries, self-worth, consent, and recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns.

Healthy relationship education should be just as important as teaching students how to protect their physical health.

Teenagers need to understand that being in a relationship doesn’t mean giving up their independence, their boundaries, or their right to walk away. They need to know that loving someone doesn’t mean tolerating mistreatment, and that ending a relationship doesn’t make them a bad person.

We also need to teach young people what abuse actually looks like.

Abuse isn’t always a black eye or a physical injury. Sometimes it’s someone controlling who you talk to, what you wear, or where you go. Sometimes it’s constant accusations, jealousy disguised as love, threats, humiliation, or making someone feel guilty for having boundaries.

And sometimes the person hurting you is also the person comforting you afterward. That cycle can make abuse incredibly difficult to recognize, especially when you’re young and still learning what love is supposed to feel like.

Too many teenagers learn about romance through movies, social media, and their peers, but never receive meaningful education about unhealthy relationships.

We cannot keep expecting children to recognize warning signs they’ve never been taught to identify.

The emotional consequences of teenage dating abuse can last long after the relationship ends. Anxiety, depression, PTSD, difficulty trusting others, shame, low self-esteem, and unhealthy coping mechanisms are just some of the struggles survivors may carry into adulthood.

I know because I have lived with those consequences.

This is why I’m advocating for age-appropriate, comprehensive healthy relationship education in schools, beginning before teenagers enter serious dating relationships.

Students should learn about respect, communication, consent, boundaries, emotional and physical abuse, manipulation, unhealthy attachment, and how to safely seek help or leave an unhealthy relationship.

And this education needs to reach both boys and girls. We need to teach young people not only how to recognize abuse but also how to avoid becoming the person who causes it.

As a mother raising four boys, I believe teaching my sons to respect boundaries, accept rejection, manage anger, and treat their partners with kindness is just as important as teaching other children how to protect themselves.

Healthy relationship education isn’t about encouraging children to date or grow up faster. It’s about preparing them to recognize unhealthy behavior, respect themselves and others, and understand that love should never come at the cost of their safety.

I was 13 years old when abuse started becoming my normal. I was 17 before that relationship finally ended. But the emotional damage didn’t end when the relationship did.

I cannot go back and give that little girl the education, confidence, and understanding she desperately needed.

But I can fight for the next generation.

If teaching healthy relationships in schools helps even one teenager recognize abuse sooner, find the courage to ask for help, or understand that they deserve better, then that education matters.

We teach children how to protect their physical health. It’s time we take their emotional safety just as seriously.

I’m asking schools, school districts, and education policymakers to make healthy relationship and teen dating violence prevention education a meaningful part of school health curricula.

Because prevention starts with education, and no child should have to become a survivor before learning what a healthy relationship looks like.