Frankly, I’m exhausted. I’ve been riding a streak of high blood sugars the past week that won’t seem to go away. What could it be from? A change in diet? A change in the weather? A change in life events? It could be none, some, or all of the above, because type 1 diabetes affects every part of the body and is affected by all of the environments around it.
Though, let me be clear - I’m usually in good shape when it comes to management, but lately, my balance has been off. This is nothing to be too alarmed over. I’m not saying I’m unhealthy. I know the signs to watch for, and am proactive. It happens when you have type 1, and, with any shortcomings, the sooner you learn to respond and manage, the better off you are. That’s all I’m doing - responding and taking care, as I hope anyone would who is managing the condition or a different one.
As I sit in my tiredness, hoping to recover through relaxation, I can’t help but feel frustrated over the small opportunities missed tonight - a night to catch up with my co-workers or visit with my family. Instead, I find myself lying in bed, trying to relax and stabilize my blood sugars. Is it the best method for success? I really don't know. It could be. Type 1 diabetes is quite random, despite control. As I said, so many things affect it. If one treatment works one day, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll work in a future state.
At this point of the evening, I’m trying to preserve my mental sanity as much as my physical state. Still, I fight. Still, I feel strong. Still, I feel encouraged. Still, I feel clear of mind.
These setbacks happen now and then. They’re part of having type 1 diabetes. It’s a moment-to-moment condition you can never stop thinking about, worrying about, or managing; but, you can decide whether or not it controls your life or you control it. It is a conscious choice and perspective you can use with any choice or circumstance in your life.
Tonight, I let my type 1 diabetes win the battle over being with friends and family, but I will not let it win “the war”.
Type 1 diabetes is of course a big part of my life, but it’s not my whole life. As a result of having it, it has definitely made me a more empathetic, perceptive, and aware person. Still, I know I have a lot to learn. There’s always a lot to learn. Everyone knows something you don’t, and life is full of more information and insight for us all to inherit. In every experience, we have the opportunity to grow, stagnate, or digress. I would like to think that during this time of development (having type 1 diabetes), I’ve learned about myself and life differently than most people my age, maybe even a bit more.
Especially when I was younger, in grade school, I usually had more of an understanding of life’s complications and personal responsibility than my same-aged peers around me. Being diagnosed at 10-years-old let me learn with the condition, which most would probably agree is a benefit and a curse of long-term management effectiveness.
When I think about everything type 1 diabetes is and all of the frustration, trials, and tribulations it brings, when I think about everything working against us in these moments (starting with the body attached to the hands I am typing with), I still am hopeful. I am challenged, but I am empowered. Challenge is good. It inspires growth and motivation.
When I think about what I want to tell our Wisconsin representatives about the importance of capping the prices and all of the good it will do for individuals and families in the state of Wisconsin, I have a lot I want to say, but the logic is simple. Any good pitch needs to be short, sweet, clever, and to the point. I’ve never been good at short as a writer, but here go my closing remarks:
I think of all of the stories across the U.S.A. of people dying from insulin rationing, not being able to afford their meds, choosing between paying for a bill or their necessary medical supplies, suffering from all associated complications, limiting relationships or careers, and more. I think of toddlers being misdiagnosed and not making it to first grade because of the condition and the lack of accessibility and affordability around it, and it all circles back to this core principle:
Capping insulin prices is one small part of a much larger picture that needs to be addressed in our country - affordable and accessible healthcare for all, period.
The logic is simple. The pain is genuine. We need a solution, not more division.
I could bring up all these stories, but why relive the pain? Why continue the pain? It’s simple. Politics and policy aside - this bill will help Wisconsinites, and hopefully act as a catalyst for change to help all Americans suffering from the high costs of our healthcare system.
Why bring up the heartbreak? Why let it continue? Why let pride or politics get in the way of the survival of many? Leadership, in my opinion, should be there to help the people, lead for and with them.
This isn’t just about capping the prices of insulin, it’s about capping all of the aforementioned, or at least providing a little relief. Capping the stress, capping the burden, capping the consequences of inaccessibility and unaffordability, and capping the physical, mental, and emotional effects. Capping the ubiquitous cost this condition has on the livelihoods of many.
The question of capping it should not be a question. It needs to be the solution.
Julia
Remember, the only way through something is through it, and when we work together in harmony to affect positive change using grace, dignity, awareness, information, experience, and passion to guide us, I believe we can earn this and anything is possible.
Keep fighting. Don't succumb to diabetic burnout. Let yourself heal and be kind to your battles, of course. When I say don't burnout, I just mean burn bright as an advocate. Embrace what could be, and fight to earn it with me.
We battle many highs and lows everyday, and this is one high we have a great opportunity to correct together. We are in this together.