Dear everyone,

I think we’ve all seen how low the human race has now become. I am referring to of course the notorious predator of male teens, Bonnie Blue.. 

What people don’t know however is that Bonnie suffers from several mental health disorders. These disorders are due to the repeated injection of Turkish plastic into her lips and forehead that have spread to the orbitofrontal cortex of her brain. This brain region is important for engaging in hobbies and improving mental health, preventing depression, and performing actual productive tasks and chores. Sadly for Bonnie this brain region is damaged, and instead she prefers to be on all-fours. 

This is a petition from the rest of human civilisation to let Bonnie know that it’s now time to stop being a perv and pick up a real hobby for once. For Bonnie, we need the hobbies to come back, so she stops sniffing the teenage boy sack. If we reach 1000 signatures I will personally send Bonnie a jigsaw puzzle to start this recovery process. 

Your signature is greatly appreciated for this important movement. Thank You.