We, the undersigned, wish to register our polite but increasingly tea-deprived objection to the possibly orchestrated disappearance of the kettle. 

A kitchen without a kettle cannot be considered a kitchen at all. It is simply a room with unrealised potential. If only that was true in our case though! The replacement of  all the kettles with coffee machines that spit out lukewarm water makes this kitchen a room with realised pain.

Those who understand the simple principles of making tea know that you need boiling water to get the proper flavour of tea. If it’s merely hot, then the tea will be insipid. 

Meetings now begin not with the comforting optimism of a fresh cup of tea, but with the thousand-yard stare of individuals forced to contemplate coffee from the machine. The machine that has its tiny terrible hands in the creation of my beverages. 

We therefore humbly request that a suitable kettle be returned to the kitchen with all reasonable haste.

Yorkshire Tea have been in contact and are supporting us and our cause during this difficult period.

Ode to the Kettle:
now, the corner is empty. 
dust gathers where steam once rose, 
and the office air feels… room temperature. 
no whistle, no clock, no beautiful moments of steeping

if there is a heaven for small appliances
may you forever boil without limescale, 
may your element never burn out, 
and may someone… somewhere… 
still hear your little click
and be reminded there still is hope.