It has come to the attention of the Mizzou Squirrel Observation Society (heretofore referred to as “the Society”) that a group of squirrels has inaccurately been termed a “scurry”.

It is of the opinion of the Society that this is a gross mischaracterization of the squirrel menace. “Scurry” has far too innocent and silly a connotation for such evil and rabid creatures. 

Therefore, we motion to legally change the term “scurry” into the far more accurate “scourge” of squirrels, better representing the actions and behavior of our bushy tailed enemies.

The Society holds the belief that words have power, and we can no longer afford to allow such a power to our adversaries.  This is the first step in a long legal battle against our overlords and one that we readily take.

However, we cannot do this alone. We humbly ask that anyone who knows and understands the depth of the evils of the squirrels to sign our petition, contained below, to take this crucial step towards a better tomorrow.