Letter to my daughters Maya Eileen Kenyon McAdams Burkholder & Shania Louise Kenyon Price Burkholder

Tuesday, March 15, 2016 Dear Daughters Maya & Shaina, I writing you to let you know since your grandmother more in likely have not told you or your sister that, I had to go into the hospital on Thursday, March 10th 2016 for a Heart Catheterization and Percutaneous Coronary Intervention/Coronary Stenting. I have a Angio-Seal device components in on my right side in my groin area where my doctor had went in with the Catheter to check my arteries to see if there was any blockage for blood flowing through to keep my heart going, to pump blood through my body. Reason for it was due to having all the signs of me having a heart attack back in February when I was being treated for my enlarged thyroid with the cyst on it. They had treated me with two different kinds of medications for the thyroid nothing is working so they had to take me off the medications due to that I had a major bad allergic reaction from the medications. I had to also go through a stress test on a treadmill and was not able to complete it, was only on it for like 3 minutes before they had to take me off it due to my heart was not pumping normal, along with dizzy spell where the room felt like it was spinning and I was having a hard time breathing and a cold sweat like poppy had many times. I have inherited the same heart condition that your poppy had. Now am on heart medications one is a beta-blocker to prevent blockage in the heart and arteries to help keep the blood flowing and not to get a blood clot. Another is to keep my Cholesterol at a normal level. All these years I was board-line of becoming a diabetic. Am also on a pill to keep my blood thinned out as well! Medications are mostly one a day but the beta-blocker is twice a day. They are Lipitor for the cholesterol one a day, Coreg for the beta-blocker twice a day, baby aspirin once a day to keep my blood from thickening to keep it thinned out to go through my arteries better. They did have me on another one but had to take me off due to a severe allergic reaction. That I had to take once a day to prevent a heart attack! Been on these medications soon will be a month now by time you get this letter. Will be sending you pictures that my doctor had given me of both my arties! Have to go back to see two different doctors just on my heart condition. One on Friday, April 8th 2016 and the other one Wednesday, June 15th, 2016 which is the doctor whom did the Heart Catheterization! He is located at UHS Vestal on Vestal Parkway East down across from Binghamton University College. Along with my Breast doctor at the breast clinic! Well enough with my health conditions that was important to tell you both about. I also never walked out of neither of you lives. I was in the hospital getting help with my depression after you was born Maya when you was 3 months old, I had post-partum which was another name for a depression after giving birth. You was early baby, I was only 7 months along with you when I had went into labor at home at your grandmother’s home, down on the airport road in Greene, where your grandma did not have a working house phone now vehicle that had worked the battery was dead so I wasn’t able to get to the hospital to have you, you was born on grandma’s couch, while she had to run up to the nears payphone to call 911 since she couldn’t get through to anyone on the CB to any of her truck driver guys, friends that lives up in town. By time she had gotten back you were already born. The trailer that you are both living in is the same one that you were born in Maya. When you were born you was blue umbilical cord was around your neck three time and you was not breathing you could of dead. When I had gone into labor your grandmother wanted me to take the medication to stop my labor I had thrown the dish that had all my medication in at the time across the room. I knew I was in full blow labor, she didn’t know until she had seen that my water had broken in the bath tub. I was high risk with you the whole enter time. I had lost a lot of weight could not keep nothing down, was in and out of the hospital the enter time I was carrying you. I had given birth to you at home the day you were born. I was in the hospital the night before you were born and they sent me home after keeping an eye on me for the day, due to I had fell from trying to get the nursing ready for you to arrive. I know and will never forget anything that I have been through and what it took to have you and your sister. I have not ever lied to anyone about what I have been through and the battle of getting you both back full time. I never gave up on neither of you. You have been lied to for many years by those that you are with. I can careless about your sticking money that you have inherited from your father’s death. I have my own money; manage to get by ever since I have been out on my own. Yes at times I have had to struggle but I still manage to keep all my bills paid and a roof over my head for you and your sister. Am buying this place for you and your sister sure the heck not just for me and Doug. We had even suffered until we had gotten this place a place big enough for you and your sister. Instead of getting a 1 or a 2 bedroom apartment! Your grandmother and aunts wanted us to get a tiny apartment; I said hell no because I would not have room for my babies. I would never get a tiny small place when I have kids to have in my home with me. I did not have you and your sister to have them use you and hold you over my head to get what they want from me. Am in college to better my career and to be able to help others that have been through similar situations like I did growing up etc.! Am taking Criminal Justice to become a social worker! Counselor through a mental health clinic or a rehab center where ever there is work needed of in that area. Doug is in college taking photography to have his career capturing memories and people’s important memories along with nature etc. I have many of my petitions here to show you both of me battling to get you both home. Do you both remember going to Mental Health Clinic with me during the summer months when you was with me during my weeks of visitation. I had you both one week and grandma had you every other week during the summer months and when school was in session it went to every other weekend from Friday to Sunday. You both even went with me to a few of my counseling sessions you had opened up to my therapist. When I was working for The Evening Sun delivering the local newspapers you both went with me during the weeks you was with me, you both had lots of fun helping mommy and along with getting all of mommy tips from her customer, you was both mad that I had given that job up with all the routes that I had. I had went to work to the café in the Eaton Center in the mornings and then afternoons the paper routes up until I had gotten my other job at Price Chopper as a Front End Clerk, which was up in the front end of the store, collecting shopping carts, bagging customers products and helping them carry them out when they needed, along with the bottles and cans returns with the machines and other things that also including being a front end clerk up until my car accident on June 29th 2009 on my way to work where I was hit in the crosswalk had lost my job due to the injuries and a lawsuit where I was sue the man whom had hit me in the crosswalk it had took 3 long years to get anything from him and his insurance company to pay for my hospital bills and treatments that I had to go through with the injuries that I still suffer from today on a daily bases but I still keep pushing forward due to you and your sister. Back when I was your age I was hospitalize a few different times due to attempt on my own life for many reason that am not going to go into detail with you due to just talking about it makes it as if it had just happened yesterday into having to relive it. With you both still being so young and only teenager and not have experienced what life is all about, how to survive and more. I had also been on medications in the past as well to help with many areas on my life. Shania you are going through a lot similar to what I had went through at your age. I to be also bullied all through school even more so after my eye surgery back in March 1994 due to an injury that was caused by a stick by your two uncles Leslie & Joe when I was only 7 years old. It had took 7 years to find a doctor that would do the surgery and that would take my medical insurance back then. Which is why I have to wear glasses at all times due to my eye sight all because of an injury? Now Shania since you was born I had fall custody of you, your father and I had issues with not getting a long due to other issues that am not going to go into details, your grandmother had me give you temporally to her until I had gotten out of the relationship with your father and to get my own place on my feet, she was to give you back to me along with your sister Maya. But she made it sound like I was not able to take care of either of you at the time, I had never lost any of my parental rights to either of you and never have I signed them off either. I also have the court documents and past petitions and more to prove that as well. I can even take you to the courts in Norwich to show you how thick the files are on just me battling to get you both back full time. I was the one petitioning more than your grandmother did. She would only file to keep me from you both and it had back fired on her each and every single time. Heck she even tried to put order of protection on me to keep me from seeing and contacting you as well. She did not know how to be a co-parent or know the meaning of joint custody. When we had Judge Sullivan as a family court judge he would tell me every time to keep up what I have been doing with going to groups, mental health, parenting courses all on my own along with DV and other things with mental health. That within 6 month to a year that I would have you both back full time. Your grandmother was the one keeping you from me and still is. Heck she always turn and call the cops on me to have me arrest for busting my rear to being a mom to you both and she would argue with me about everything instead of co-parenting when it came to you both. She wanted you all to herself due to she had screwed up not being there for me when I was growing up, she has pushed me away to please others and including all the men that she had in and out of her life. Which were many of them had used her to get to me and I was abused by them and she would not listen to me when I needed her the most when I was being harmed by these men along with a few others. When I had turned 14 she had put me on birth control pills just like she did with both your aunts Carol & Crystal. She was not able to raise your aunt Stacy she was taken from her by her parents due to the abuse that she was going through by the hands of Stacy’s father and other men after that. Shania you are my last baby to be born and after you were born I had gotten my tubes cut/tied/burnt. I did not want any more 2 was enough with the way the world was and is getting worse to keep bring more innocent children into it. Than back in 2002 to 2006 I had been dealing with a lot of female health issues with my uterus and ovaries to where I had been on different medication for due to cyst and when they did not help or work I had to have a hysterectomy due to the cyst had keep coming back really bad to where it had made me look like I was pregnant when I was not. A few of them had burst that had made me sick that could of caused a lot more problems if I had not gone through it. If it wasn’t for the guy I was with had pushed me into having it done I wouldn’t have been here still today, he had made it clear that he rather lost the chances to have more kids instead of losing me to death due to my ovaries and uterus. The doctor had tested the cyst and lucky they hadn’t turn into cancer yet, caught it just in time before it did. I also had abnormal periods just like you both are going through as well. I had a lot of pain, was not on time each month. Some months I had it twice others I would not have it. Some it was lit and other months it was very bad and rough, very painful. I didn’t want neither of you to have to suffer to go through what I had when I was your age, but you are already both starting to already with the female issues... I had been on different birth control over my teenage years and I was even on the shot that your aunt is on and the one that your other aunt had went off of, I was on it for 3 years before I had gotten pregnant with you Maya. When I had found out I was pregnant each time with both of you I had quit smoking cold turkey and along with stop drinking as well. Thing that you do when your young with bad choices in life you will suffer from them later on in life such as smoking, drinking or even getting around the wrong kinds of people to hang with that due drugs and those whom pressure you into doing things that you do not want to do. So please make wise choices when it comes to be around some people including boy’s teenage boys or even older men. Because I was raped, and molested at a very young age! At the time I did not even know what sex was at all. Those whom you are with will problem tell you that I was never raped, molested or abuse when they are just in denial that they do not want to admit what had happened to me. Heck when I had my first period and learned about it sure the heck was not by your grandmother it was through the school when we had to watch the video on it in 6th grade in gym class, than again in high school in health class. And also I was taught how to shave my legs by a friend that lived down the road which was Bridget Zimmer sure the heck was not your grandmother. She pushes me away for a long time and still does. When all I have always wanted was a mother/daughter relationship that I have not had with your grandmother and now she is keeping me from having that you both of you and keeping me from being the mom I want to be to both of you. They do not ever give me a damn chance to prove that I can be a good mom to both of you. Maya after I had gotten out of the hospital from being there for 2 weeks up in Cooperstown, Your aunt had ran her mouth one to many times and had gotten into my face acting like she knows how to be a parent when she didn’t have any kids at all. I had had enough of it and stood up to her and the rest of them and they had put me into jail for standing up and protecting myself and you. I had also done jail time while I was pregnant with you they had let me out due to the county didn’t want to have to pay for the hospital bills for bring you into the world. I was on probation for 3 years and I had 6 months left I think and when I had gotten pregnant with you they wanted me to give you up for adoption I told them to go straight to hell and they even wanted to me to even have an abortion I flipped the hell out in the county building. I would not kill my child or an innocent life. Your grandmother was in the room at Probation and heard it all, I believe your aunt Carol was too. That was the day I had also fall down the damn stairs of the county building and had come close in losing you than due to the damn stress and the fall. But my past is not what matters right now what matters is that am doing better and have a home for you and your sister with your own bedrooms and your own bathroom at one end of the mobile home. My reason for keep living is you and your sister sure he heck is not for anyone else period. Along with the reason why am here in NY still and had come back to NY after being on the road for 2 and half month back in 2006-2007 after being in the hospital for a week after surgery, which I had come to see you and your sister before I had went into the hospital due to the fear of not coming through after the surgery, your grandmother had called the damn cops then to have me arrest the day before me going into the hospital for a major surgery that I could of dead while under. They sure the heck didn’t care if I had lived or dead, feel that they still don’t. Because if your grandmother really truly loves me that am her daughter like she had told my husband she sure the hell wouldn’t be treating me the way she does, and not bust her rear to have a mother/daughter relationship like normal mothers and daughters, or even keep you and your sister from having one with your biological mother me. Because they are seriously harming you by mentally and emotionally abusing you both by doing so! By telling you so any lies and teaching you to disrespect your mother when she has done nothing wrong to either of you. I can even remember when I had come there to visit on weekends when I was with Shania’s father we could not leave to go back on Sunday you both had me by the ankles when you was younger. So we had stayed until you both was totally out to sleep for school the next morning. Your grandmother had never had to feel or go through what I have in life. Just because she was not able to raise her first born which was Stacy she doesn’t need to follow her parents foot step and do the same to me all because of them and repeating the cycle and not breaking it. Plus to have control over me by holding you both over my head, and to ruin my life being mom to both of you! It’s all about control and using whatever she can to get what she wants. You both will realize it sooner or later that I’m not the one that has been doing anything wrong to you and have not been lying about anything at all. I also work from home with a great company called Melaleuca which is a Wellness company without all those harsh chemicals that can harm people’s lives and our pets. That does damage to our environment. All of Melaleuca products are safer for our homes, around children and our pets. Also environmental friend meaning that they will not harm the environment or the air that we breathe! I also have a legal shield membership that I pay for each and every month for legal advice from the highest lawyers there is in New York State, along with me being a Legal Shield Associates with my own website to introduce other clients to get a membership to help them have lawyers on 24/7 when needed totally free with only a small month fee each month. Doug graduates this year from The Art Institution for his photography in his associate’s degree two year college degrees. I graduate next year from Colorado Technical University with the concentration of Human Services with my Bachelor’s degree a four year college degree. Maya you sure the heck would not know or remember when you was only 3 months old of what had happened you was told many lies for so long that they have stuck it in your head. By the way both of your fathers also denied you both due to rumors that they heard from those whom you live with and are around all the time. I have never once ever cheated on any man in my enter life. So when your grandmother had filed for public assistance they had took both your fathers to family court had to have a DNA test done to prove that they was the fathers. Plus neither of them was ever there through either of my pregnancy along neither of them was there the day you was both born. I have done it all on my own. Plus your both living in a home that you are all in denial over the way it is compared to my home that is clean, safe and no harmful chemicals along with no smoking or any fighting etc. Let alone there is no sticking black mold in my home either. We put out onions once a week to help prevent illness and to help prevent us from getting sick. Doug & I have not been sick at all since we have left Mark Beebe in Greene. You both had fun here painting your bedrooms and a blast, but yet neither of you are here to even enjoy the bedrooms or even the bathroom of your own. You both had me get things for both bathrooms that you both liked, sure the heck was not what I liked etc. I did it for you both not for myself. Unconditional love is not something that you can buy. Money can’t buy love or health etc. People that only want to use or ruin another person they bribe the children to get what they want buy getting them expensive things that will not last forever. If I didn’t care or love either of you or any of the lies that they have been putting into your heads! I sure the heck wouldn’t be here in New York still, I would of stayed in Texas with a brand new home plus I would have been put through college, would have had my degree by now as well. I had brought my place in Norwich on my own sure the heck didn’t have any help from anyone period. When I was growing up your grandparents had no electric, no running water, no sewer or anything that we all have today. We head to carry water in from the spring across the road form the cow/horse pasture to bath. We heated and cooked on a wood stove. We have to even cut down wood to heat the place with all year round no matter what the weather was. We also had to go out to milk cows, collect eggs from the hen houses. There is a lot that neither of you even knows how to manage in life. You getting money handed to you for nothing. You both need to learn what it’s like to work for every penny. Sooner or later you will not have that money handed to you for the rest of your lives. There will be a day in your life that you will regret not taking the time to have a real health relationship with your mother. It will be too late when am gone. Your grandmother along with the rest of them should be encouraging you both to have a relationship with me not the opposite all because they want to ruin me and hold you both over my head to get what they want from me etc. I have no need to lie to anyone. My entire friends that know both sides have seen it with their own to eyes and heard it as well. Many of them have been there for me when others won’t be. Oh the reason you’re both have the Kenyon name is also due to hospital policy along due to neither of your fathers was there when you was born. Remember I love you both no matter what you want to believe from others. Many that I talk to and trust even say that you both will realize that am not the bad parent or ever done anything wrong to either of you when am gone. You’ll be asking tons of questions to want all the true answers. Yet the judge has also told your grandmother many times that no matter how your grandmother sees me as a good or bad parent am still the mother to both the girls. Plus neither of you can have me sign my rights off. So that is also out of the question. The courts will not make me. Love your mother, April May Burkholder (Kenyon) https://www.facebook.com/notes/april-m-burkholder/letter-to-my-daughters-maya-eileen-kenyon-mcadams-burkholder-shania-louise-kenyo/10153907738588673