The Love of my life who is very soon getting married to someone else and due a series of events she is too exhausted to change herself once more, for to bring me into the scenario would be too much of an emotional burden for her to adjust and fight for one more situation. Due to her past traumas she has developed a coping mechanism of isolating herself from everyone whenever she is upset. And I haven't been able to express all of this to her.

She has suffered many situations since childhood where she found herself helpless and always had to finally adapt or settle herself down for the situation. Now she is at a point in her life that she has given up hope of life that life must be beautiful and settled down for the idea that it can be miserable too even though I haven’t seen more vigor in anyone to better up their lives. Her childhood was somewhat like Dear Zindagi and present situation is Highway.
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There is so much I couldn’t say to her because the situation didn’t allow it. I have written only a fraction of it down addressing it to her. If you think she should gather some last moment strength to listen to what I have to say & rethink her decision to consider walking on the path of life with me.
Please sign this petition for it would be an urgent appeal for her to listen to it.

For every share of yours of would be like the hundreds of acceptance letters Harry receives from Hogwarts. For no matter how many letters his uncle tries to burn, he finally gets one.
Please share with a caption asking more people to share so that it soon reaches her.

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Radhe!

Despite being an atheist.
I found the God in you.
And I don't know how to undo that.
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हर वो आंसू जो तेरी आंखों से बहने से इनकार करता है।
वो अब मेरी आंखों से बह रहा है।
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You are a Fine Art of Integrity, Strength and Kindness.

I want your life to be a Masterpiece, even if I'm not a part of it.

So plan very practically for the things that are coming with a calm and critical mind.
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Radhe!

I won't be able to give you your freedom for it is already yours But I will ensure nobody takes it away from you, even me.

We find peace with each other because we let each other be ourselves and accept as we are and that brings out the best of ourselves. This world is too weak to stand your individuality and too unworthy for my efforts.

For our Love fulfills both our material and spiritual aspirations -
It makes our Love Righteous.
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Despite knowing the situation what makes me still believe in the spark between us?

पुण्य से आपको स्वर्ग मिलेगा।
प्रेम से वैकुंठ।
और प्रेम के लिए गए युद्ध से कैलाश।

और अगर प्रेम ही धर्म हो तो प्रेम के लिए किया गया युद्ध धर्म युद्ध हो जाएगा।

और इस धर्म युद्ध में आपको प्रेम के साथ ज्ञान और विजय भी प्राप्त होगी।

- Jordan.

You asked me once in July - What makes you think that the spark between still has a chance, knowing all the situation?

Because I knew for our Love is Righteous it shall definitely win.

Even if not today, I know we only belong to each other and this void cannot be filled by anyone else and someday we finally will come back to each other.
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Timing has been a bitch to us from day one.
But still somehow destiny brought us together through dreams.
Dreams are a reflection of our subconscious.

We are not doing this..
But It is something larger than us that is working to bring us together.

For we are not each other’s wants but needs.
God gives us what we need, not what we want.

For what we want is up to us to snatch it from the world.

And I refuse to leave my destiny in the hands of time anymore.

For I will conquer time even if it is meant to wait for you for my whole life.

Until you return.. I will be -
Jordan in the mornings, Aditya in the daytime and Qais in the nights.
Krishna in the morning, Ram in the daytime and Shiva in the nights.
For the rest of my life.
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You were gonna get the tattoo of कर्म & धर्म.

And I’ll get प्रेम inked on me.

For प्रेम gives meaning and purpose to कर्म and धर्म and completes them.

With you in my life felt like all the nihilism went away.
We give each other’s life a meaning, a purpose.
Nothing else can fill the void of meaninglessness of life.
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I never intended to manipulate you.

For I don't want a Puppet to be Manipulated.

But I see a Goddess in you to be Worshipped till the end of my consciousness.
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The first time we hugged in May, I saw tears in your eyes which refused to flow out of your eyes. At that time I didn’t understand what they were about but in the past two months I felt what they were really trying to say and have given a purpose to my life.

That tear in your eye is now flowing out of mine and just doesn’t seem to stop.

You are a part of my soul now.
It hurts me deeply to see you in pain and give up on life.

My heart broke in August, but right now I can see a part of myself (you) getting drowned and not being able to do anything to save it.

Every tear that refuses to flow out of your eyes is now flowing out of mine.

हर वो आंसू जो तेरी आंखों से बहने से इनकार करता है।
वो अब मेरी आंखों से बह रहा है।

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I had never thought of committing to someone for life. No one seemed to be worthy of that to me until my narcissism surrendered to your divine soul.

You are not just my Best choice.
But the Only Choice.
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I fell for the rebel in you. A strong individual that is unfit for this unfree world.

Let’s make our own Jungle ke paar wali Duniya.

Where you write all the rules and I am the only Law-abiding citizen of that Kingdom.

And one fine day leave this world together in each other’s arms.
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To forget you would be to forget myself. For you have transformed me and I don’t wanna go back to being Jordan before Radhe.

Also I will be starting businesses soon and you will always be 50% partner there.

So whenever you wanna come back there’s gonna be a cabin right beside me, always ready for you.

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There is a 200 year old song -

सकल हंस में राम विराजे , राम बिना कोई धाम नहीं ।

In every swan (sacred me) there resides a Divine God(you).
Without God (you), the Dham - temple(me) is useless.

For you the Divine is the sublime convergence of inner and outer, where truth and beauty intertwine, unsoiled by the stains of deception.

And I am the Sacred one to have transcended the mere cannibal of what a man is to feed on its own kind.
For I would give up everything, even you, if to gain that would cause a slightest harm to you.
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The problem with Love is that it involves belonging without ownership.
And if not accepted by the Lover we become Orphan.

We belong to each other. I have seen it in your eyes.
I am the only person who can understand you without you having to put your thoughts in words.

And without each other we would be orphans and nothing would ever be able to fill that Void.
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Bhagavad Gita gives 4 steps to meet your God.

It’s Gyan Yog to know you in a way no one else could. To practice non attachment to you was Karm Yog and to be devoted to you was Bhakti Yog.

Now it is time for the Raj Yog to perform my duties even when times are tough.

By Worshiping you for the Goddess you are to me.. by taking care of you for the Little Child you are of mine. And to forgive you for all that you have unintentionally hurt me & the mistakes you make, for the Love you are of mine. And being committed to you for all the time even when you are not with me.

I’ll worship you everyday by reading our chats everyday and meditating on all the things we made each other feel to fill my heart with the tears for all the pain you would go through.

And I will celebrate your B’day every year as nothing less than Diwali.

Despite this, if I still don't get you, I beg you for just 2 weeks of your time before either one of us dies...

I wanna listen to everything that happened to you.. good and bad..
And I wanna tell you everything that happened to me…

Pls don't break this promise. No matter what the circumstances are.

I assure you that at my death, only you will occupy all the last 7 mins of all my brain going back through life’s memories.
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I too will leave this world the day you leave.

For I do not want to keep you waiting in the jungle k paar wali duniya.

Because I have felt the pain of waiting and what it does to us.
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You may see yourself just as an ordinary girl, but through my eyes, you're a Fine Art of Integrity, Strength and Kindness.

The Truth and Beauty Intertwines in You to make the most Divine Soul on Earth.
Having experienced the sublime beauty of your soul, all else seems dull and uninteresting.

I've wrote 80 plus pages of word document on you and will one day share my writings for you with the world.

The tears of those who read them will form an ocean, and in its depths, the moon (you) will finally be able to see how divine she is.

You deserve to be Queen of some land.
And I want to make you the Goddess of my Life and the Empire we build together.

Please don't give up on life & settle for less than what you really deserve.

It feels like I know only a fraction of you and still have written almost a novel about you…

And If we end up together, in a lifetime I would write scriptures on you.
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From the  poem Nirgun Galiyan by Saint Kabir.

The path to the attribute less is difficult.
But if you do make it through, you shall meet the beloved! And the cycles of birth and death shall end! Oh my friend, let’s go to my world

 In this divine marketplace, beyond all qualities… Invaluable jewels are being traded!

 Such beings don’t return to be born… Oh my friend, let’s go to my world! 

There is no death or aging there… Oh my friend, let’s go to my world… That is where light happens… Oh my friend, let’s go to my world…

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I know you are tired. But come! This is the way.
-Rumi
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I had written this message to send you after you text me once you were married.

Radhe!
Always Remember -

1. I am not angry or upset at you.
   Although, I may not feel exactly what you are going through. But because, I do truly understand what you are going through. For Every tear that refuses to flow out of your eyes.. now flows out of mine.
2. I am proud of you.
   For your determination to get what you want, that you are even ready to sacrifice what you need (me) for what you want (your goals). For a life spent doing mistakes is better than spent doing nothing at all.
3. Pls Take care of yourself.
   And when you cannot, make sure you are taken care of. Pls do this one for my sake. I can bear to live in a world where you are not mine. But I cannot live a single moment in a world in which you aren't. I cannot emphasize this more.
4. Rest when you are exhausted.
   We become weak when we are exhausted. Decisions made out of weakness make us regret later.
5. Find me whenever you are all alone.
   If and whenever you feel helpless and against all the world. Remember me. This heart of mine beats for you. This brain of mine thinks for you. These hands of mine work for you.
6. Don't lose control over yourself in the time of crisis.
   At times when the disappointment is so big that we tend to react in a way we would never do, in usual circumstances. It is important to gather some strength & maintain your calm at that time and look for longer term workable solutions.

Every tear that refuses to flow out of your eyes is now flowing out of mine and just doesn’t seem to stop.

And Remember! No Guilt.
Tu Regret kar! Wo chalega mereko! It’ll make me happy.

But No Guilt. Ever!

For if you feel guilty sometime and I am not there forgive you.
For it would make me feel guilty.
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I haven't even expressed a fraction of what I feel for you.
But to conclude in 3 lines-

Radhe!
तेरी बाहो मैं अपनापन है।
There is Belonging in your arms।

तेरी गोद मैं सुकून।
There is Tranquility in your presence।

और तेरे चरणों में शांति।
And there is Solace at your feet।

- Your Jordan.
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I hope that one day I will be worthy of you.
And Thank you for all the Kindness..🙏🏻😇🥹🫂♥️

Thank you so much! I cannot thank you enough.
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I had written this message when you were not well and so we couldn't talk, to send it to you later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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We don't fall in love with people because they're good people. We fall in love with people whose darkness we recognise. You can fall in love with a person for all of the right reasons, but that kind of love can still fall apart. But when you fall in love with a person because your monsters have found a home in them-- that's the kind of love that owns your skin and bones. Love, I am convinced, is found in the darkness. It is the candle in the night.
- C. JoyBell C.
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Thank you for I found my Salvation in Devotion to You.
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If you knew the secret of life, you would choose no other companion but love.
- Rumi.
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I am reserved for you. Now and forever.

If you never come back. Just have someone to let me know when you have left the world. I'll depart from the world too.. to meet you outside space and time.
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The tears in your eyes were so deep that the reflection of my soul has now drowned in them.
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A song Tu Zinda Hai by Shankar Shailendra for you -

तू ज़िंदा है
तू ज़िन्दगी की जीत में यक़ीन कर
अगर कहीं है स्वर्ग तो उतार ला ज़मीन पर

ये ग़म के और चार दिन सितम के और चार दिन
ये दिन भी जाएंगे गुज़र गुज़र गए हज़ार दिन

हज़ार भेस धर के आई मौत तेरे द्वार पर
मगर तुझे न छल सकी चली गई वो हार कर

बुरी है आग पेट की बुरे है दिल के दाग ये
ना दब सकेगें एक दिन बनेंगे इंकलाब ये

गिरेंगे जुल्म के महल बनेंगे फिर नवीन घर
अगर कहीं स्वर्ग तो उतार ला ज़मीन पर

Whatever happens Radhe. You deserve the best possible life one can have. Never lose hope. 
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Do you know why you are so important to me?

You are the poetry to my philosophy.
You are the purpose of my life.
You are the ocean in which my soul witnesses itself.
To lose you would be to lose myself.
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And Do you know why I am not giving up on you?

Because I know you only fit with me and no one else in this world.

For either you would come back to me or
Die from the weariness of this unfree world and I would die out of separation from you.
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I was Krishna and She was Arjun.
I was John Snow and She was Ygritte.

Yet
I called her Radhe and She called me Jordan.

Our identities are intentionally kept hidden in this petition for her privacy and I don't want any attention out of this.
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I myself clicked the picture of this petition while I was trying to capture beautiful flames of the Diwali deepak(candle).
Our bond is as rare and precious as
Capturing the flying bird made out of flame.
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