When A Judge Says You Can’t Protect Your Loved Ones?! (Part 1)

Everyone pretty much knows that when an assault is about to take place, one act of  defense is to  SCREAM!!    It’s innate,… it draws attention, and perpetrators don’t like unwanted attention drawn to their dirty deeds. 

The two images above are Police sketches of the Halifax Sleep Watcher who stalked women near Dalhousie University.  Victims targeted were young, university students, all claiming the perpetrator to be  in his late teens or early 20’s.  So it’s very  odd that a 49 year old would be charged with the crime.  Do Police not believe what the victims saw and reported?  

I remember the first time I read about the Sleep Watcher.  I was in a cafe and picked up a paper to read, and then I saw the sketch.  My first thought was that it looked a lot like my step son, Gillman.  I didn’t want to believe that it could be him, … even with his history of rages and abuse to others.  

By the spring of 2010, because of yet another violent outburst from Gillman, that was both horrifying and intensely humiliating (it occurred in the middle of a dinner party with guests).  Yes there are witnesses, each of whom did admit on the stand where in a fit of anger he broke the stem of his wine glass.  

There were  also witnesses to his raging life threatening antics at the edge  of a steep mountain drop off, where we had stopped at a look off while travelling in British Columbia (I wrote about that horror in an earlier post), and provided the evidence to the court.  The one thing that I will never forget about him being on the cliff, is the look on his face as he watched ours… as the four of us  begged for him to get off the cliff— he had a look of utter glee.  He  enjoyed our petrified looks.  WHY… What did he get out of that?!

This is Gillman.  The one thing that stands out about the Halifax Sleepwatcher, is that news articles mention that he touched some of the sleeping women, and it was thought that it was more to wake them.  Why?!  Because he gets off on seeing the terror in their faces. 

After witnessing him abuse time and again, a pattern  became apparent .  After each outburst, a request would always follow…, but “demand” is the true word to be used in this case.   Sadly, Cathy more often than not, would oblige, often behind my back as I would later find out.  This I believed to be part of the problem— the lack of discipline at the moment, and the reward for bad behaviour.  

What happens to a child when they learn from the cradle how to manipulate and subjugate their victims? 

When Cathy and I first met, she warned me of Gillman’s rages, and how she had taken him to a child psychologist at age 5 for his threats of going to kill himself, and for hitting his mother.  According to Cathy, he began those rages around age 3, and she attributed it to his father leaving them.  Cathy also expressed that she was at her wits end with what to do.  It became clear to me, that her brother, Bob,  who committed suicide when she was about 15 years old, had left its mark.  

Post suicide, Bob was diagnosed with Schizophrenia, and in Cathy’s mind, her worst fear was that Gillman was just like Bob, and would one day commit suicide. In her mind,  her reaction to Gillman’s  violence— reward, was in her mind, a demonstration of love to prevent him from doing what she feared most.  My heart went out to her, because I’m a mom, … what mom wouldn’t be horrified and be at wits end with that situation, especially with Cathy’s history. 

From what I heard from Cathy regarding her upbringing, was that there was a lot of violent episodes among her 7 siblings and parents.  Cathy shared that her mother was often psychologically troubled and violent, and when I asked how she survived that, she said that she learned to lie in order to avoid physical punishment. So at a very young age, she too learned to manipulate … to survive.  

Now as a mother, and in her mind, Cathy’s need for Gillman to survive meant  manipulating circumstances on his behalf.  That’s a lot of power doled out to a child.  

Cathy and I had long talks about both  Gillman and her going for therapy.  Cathy then convinced me that she and Gillman were seeing a psychologist together.  At trial, however, Gillman testified otherwise— that there had been no offer to take him for therapy, and the last time he had seen a psychologist  was to deal with his violent rages, at 5 years old.  This evidence was  proved  at trial.  

Cathy told me that the psychologist’a prognosis for his 5 year old  acts of violence,  was that he was insecure with having far too much power than what a 5 year old ought to  have, and that he needed his mother to step up to the plate as  “parent” and set boundaries, and in doing so, provide him with the security he needs.  But she could never bring herself to do that.  She asked me for help and I said I would where I could. 

Cathy and I shared the position agains corporal punishment.  My discipline involved rewards for good behaviour and discipline for bad.  Discipline involved things like time-out, and loss of certain privileges as they became older.  Absolutely no violence, whether physical, psychological, or coercive control.  This didn’t mean that tough love was never applied, … at least in my children’s case, both Cathy and I applied that principle.  But Cathy  could not do the same with Gillman.  She tried… I could see that, but she kept falling into the same pattern.  

It stands to reason that Gillman saw me as a threat— I was getting in the way of his long held power addiction. You could see he had mixed feelings though.  There were times that I thought he was coming around, … that he was changing, and I responded to him in like fashion — reward for good behaviour… slowly moving forward, but it didn’t last.  

In 2019, Cathy and I received a call from Pam, Gillman’s common law partner, and his step daughter, Emma .  They were both distraught.   Gillman was arrested and in jail.  He had attacked Pam the night before, grabbing her by the throat, strangling her in rage.  She had the wherewithal to  land several blows to his face, that forced him to let go.

Her daughter Emma called 911.  

Cathy flew out to Calgary to be with Gillman for when he was released from jail, and I encouraged her towards that end.  He needs help, and she is his mother.  I hadn’t spoken to Gillman in years— 2010 to be exact.  I refused to be near him for fear of more abuse. 

After Cathy flew off, I began having misgivings, and felt I needed to speak with someone, so I called Crime Stoppers.  My call was anonymous at first, and I told them everything— Gillman’s long history of abuse, ….the fact that his uncle Bob’s post suicide diagnosis of schizophrenia, … Cathy’s fears that Gillman was like Bob, and would one day do the same.  

The counsellors at Crime Stoppers convinced me that as long as I remained anonymous, they couldn’t  inform the Judge, who could  then order that Gillman get the serious help he needs, not to mention protection for others within his periphery who he could harm. 

So,  I gave up anonymity.  

I informed Cathy of my call to Crime Stoppers, and our relationship went down hill after that.  Twenty seven years together wasn’t enough.  But there was more going on behind the scenes as I was lead down the garden path of believing that she and I could separate amicably, … or better yet,  that we could work things out.  Cathy saw me as a traitor.  Then she  reconnected with her two friends, Barb Sawatsky  and Christine Scott, who we hadn’t spoken I to since 2012, for their part in what I refer to as “opportunistic thefts” against 3 people— one incident involving our friends Jia Tsu and Tony Thompson; another involving our friend Gina Welling; and the third involving Cathy herself.  These were not insignificant opportunistic thefts.  If they would have succeeded it would amount to many thousands of dollars loss in total.  They didn’t get away with it because I intervened to help our friends recoup what was taken from them. 

So in the end, they  conspired to set me up.  Why— leverage in property settlement,… revenge, are two motives I can be sure of.  

When I realized the lies they were conjuring up on the night of January 2, 2021, I fled, and didn’t look back.  I immediately sent a text to Cathy, informing her that I would be getting a lawyer so we could each go our separate ways.  

I had had enough.  

On that same night, Cathy called the RCMP and made false allegations to have me arrested..  in her statements to RCMP, Cathy made false allegations  that I abused her, Gillman and my own two children.  When the  RCMP  came to arrest me that night, I gave up my right to silence in order to state that I was innocent, and to provide some evidence.   

In statements made to the RCMP, Cathy  said nothing as to the reason why we were splitting up after 27 years, nothing about Gillman’s abuse… nothing about my calling crime stoppers.  She avoided that for good reason— part of a grand manipulative scheme. 

By the time I came to the realization that I was going to fight for what’s rightfully mine in a property settlement, I was petrified.  What else was  Cathy and her group of accomplices capable of?  It occured to me that maybe I should just take whatever she offered, but I didn’t… I couldn’t.  It’s just not my nature to not want to confront abuse.  Don’t get me wrong, I have run from abuse on many occassions, but these came at a price… it always does.   So I strategized, asking myself a very important question as to how I could safely approach the situation.  

How could I best protect my loved ones and myself from further coercive actions and threats… and worse,… I didn’t want to think about that?!

So I SCREAMED!! , … but not literally, but in the only way I could see to be effective.  

 I brought the truth forward.  I wrote about what occurred , I had a certified transcriber produce the transcript of the 8 minute video that proved coercive control (gas lighting) abuse by Cathy, and I revealed my suspicion of long ago that came back in a flood — that Gillman could very well be the Halifax Sleep Watcher.  I found the Coast article on line, and I was shocked once again.  The composite sketch used with the Coast article looked even more like Gillman than the one I saw a decade before.  The likeness to Gillman at roughly 24 years of age to the Sleep Watcher, was striking.  Gillman is a part time University Professor at the University of Calgary so there are several images on line for comparison purposes. 

But my suspicion didn’t end there.  I checked to see if there were similar news stories involving a serial predator at the University of British Columbia, where Gillman also frequented.   AND,  I found something  there as well had occurred n 2013, and so not long after the Sleep Watcher rampage stopped, a stalker started up on the UBC campus.   

Everything began to fit.  The Police felt that the Sleep Watcher was a student, but the episodes were too sporadic, muddying the water.  They didn’t think in terms that it could be a student researcher travelling back and forth to do research with his University Professor.   For years, Gillman’s work on his Doctorate, meant work on research with Universities, and travelling. 

Another thing that perplexed Police in their investigations, was the varying descriptions victims gave of the suspect, but now here’s the thing about Gillman— one of his courses in high school was Acting— he loved to act and was exceptional at it…, he loved to the costumes made to fit the parts he played, … make up, … wigs.  We would never have known that it was Gillman underneath all of that, except we were aware in advance.  He was a star cast in his high school performance given to parents and the community.  

There was another event that occurred at around the time that I first saw the sketch of the Halifax sleepwatcher that I thought looked like Gillman.  We were out having dinner at a restaurant in Halifax, and just as we were finishing up, and out of the blue, Gillman very calmly informed Cathy and I that the night before he had climbed a tree… with a rope, with the goal being that he was going to commit suicide.  He said he had the rope around his neck and was about to jump, but at the last minute couldn’t go through with it.  

In hindsight, it is possible that … if he was the sleepwatcher, and given how smart he is… genius even.  That in order to evade Police, a sure way was to climb a tree and hide until the coast cleared.  AND, in the event that he was ever caught in the tree, his alibi would then be that he was contemplating suicide, … and of course, this is where we would comes in with the fact that this was not the first time he did such a thing.  

There was also the incident when Gillman and a group of other teens “broke out of their high school”, as was their claim— that it was just a prank… and challenge to see if they could beat the “alarm system”.  I wrote about that in my Affidavit because I feel that it’s part of profiling that I need as I point to problems with Gillman that in turn point to my suspicions of his being the sleepwatcher, as not ungrounded, but based in evidence. Cathy informed me that the RCMP called her to report on their findings as the group were caught once alarms were set off.  So, they didn’t quite get away with it.  

Now of course, some kid’s will do these things while young, and learn a valuable lesson in the process (when caught), but for other kids,… the heavy dose of adrenalin rush for a young person long addicted to that body narcotic, would see it as a fix.  With any addiction, there’s a need for the next fix… and the need to get a bigger rush, and that is why experts feared when the sleepwatching began to turn to touching victims as they slept. 

Just as it may be that Gillman is not the Sleep watcher … and not the UBC stalker… both of whom are depicted in composite Police sketches … THAT HAPPEN TO LOOK ALIKE!!   Still, in a Criminal Court he would likely be acquitted given the high standard of proof required.  

Now the real unsettling question is why isn’t the same level of proof required in civil courts?

Questions haunt my thoughts. 

Is it possible that the criminal courts high standard is geared to benefit men at the greater expense to victims who are mostly women and children.?

Is it possible that the civil courts low threshold standard also benefits men at the greater expense of women and children?

is it possible that perpetrators with money and power have infiltrated our legal system, Jerry-rigging it to serve to keep their dirty deeds secret.  It wouldn’t be the first time that perpetrators have organized — think pedophile priests. 

How do we work towards fixing this… how do we save daughters and sons, whether victim or perpetrator, …  from the dangers in our world and beyond…  AND dangers lurking within themselves?

To view the Judges Trial Decision, you can access it online at  Nova Scotia Courts — Searchable Decisions Database⁠ and to the case  Ocean v Bennett 2026 NSSC 33 in the search box, or tap the links.  The portions of the Decision involving Gillman is principally at paragraphs 57–80, especially 64–68 and 70–80.