

Bench Tony Parker


Bench Tony Parker
The Issue
The San Antonio Spurs, defending champions of the NBA, are slowly being destroyed from within. They are suffering from a rare group of blood cell tumors that develop from declining basketball and athletic ability.
Medical diagnosis: Enrique
First diagnosis in America: 2001
Origin: France
Similar illnesses: Josh Smith, ALS
Symptoms: Ugly basketball, league-worst +/- metrics, tunnel vision, getting destroyed by all opposing Point Guards
Unlike most other forms of cancer, this particularly illness possesses a relatively simple and readily available cure. The Spurs are currently allowing a player wearing the #9 on the court during key minutes of their basketball games. This man must be eliminated.
I love this team, I hate seeing them suffer like this. Save my Spurs :(
The Issue
The San Antonio Spurs, defending champions of the NBA, are slowly being destroyed from within. They are suffering from a rare group of blood cell tumors that develop from declining basketball and athletic ability.
Medical diagnosis: Enrique
First diagnosis in America: 2001
Origin: France
Similar illnesses: Josh Smith, ALS
Symptoms: Ugly basketball, league-worst +/- metrics, tunnel vision, getting destroyed by all opposing Point Guards
Unlike most other forms of cancer, this particularly illness possesses a relatively simple and readily available cure. The Spurs are currently allowing a player wearing the #9 on the court during key minutes of their basketball games. This man must be eliminated.
I love this team, I hate seeing them suffer like this. Save my Spurs :(
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Petition created on February 4, 2015