elrow Town London should be granted ‘official’ town status

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With the population of elrow Town London set to witness a huge increase over the weekend of Saturday 18th and Sunday 19th August 2018, we are in unilateral and firm belief that this precedence is grounds for recognition of official town-status in the Capital city. This campaign is backed by precisely 100.0% of the current population of elrow Town London and it is for all of them that I now speak.

elrow Town London – as it is – may be unofficial and absent from road signs, GPS coordination and ordinance survey maps, but its culture, ethos and reputation for an unwavering pursuit of a party precedes it.

Whilst we do like to party, we have monuments that match the stature and grandeur of those elsewhere in the city, such as the Town Square, The Cave and the Arc de Rowomf. We have a thriving micro-economy, as evidenced by the traders at the Flea Market – some of them drive a hard bargain, just try to haggle with them!

Our taste in fashion is exported worldwide, thanks to our Costume Factory. Produce-wise, our cuisine is the envy of the world – just sample the delights of our Food Village. And we're not a bad looking bunch either, constantly preening and dolling ourselves up at the Beauty Salon.

Our population may spike over that one weekend of the year, but we will exceed the number of people in several existing London towns including Camden, Canning and Kentish Towns, all of which are a little lacklustre compared to our exploits here.

It is the above criterion that forms the basis for our case and we are now looking for 1000 supporters to sign our petition so our motion for devolution can be discussed formally in City Hall. We hope you can support our cause.

Yours Sincerely,

Rowgelia and the citizens of elrow Town London

 



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