Lately, Pete Davidson seems like he needs a friend.  His breakup with Ariana Grande has no doubt been hard on him. I’d like to provide him with the power of friendship.  Now, I cannot sexually satisfy him in the ways that Miss Grande can, however I can offer him all the Crystal Pepsi he can drink, as well as a safe place to vape his medicinal marijuana (my basement).  Pete, if you’re reading this, I think that we would be very good friends and you seem lonely, so I hope you consider my offer.