In many states, the default custody arrangement is 50/50 physical and legal custody. Both parents have equal time and input with the children, and the children thrive with two active, fully involved, loving parents. The children used to live with both parents in one house all the time before the divorce, and now after the divorce they continue to live with both parents half and half. It minimizes the trauma of the divorce on the children, and makes the divorce easier and less stressful.

Unfortunately, New York state is still locked on some old middle-age belief, that the default custody should be with the mother. This is based on the belief that the mother stays home all day and is always available to care for the children, and the father works out of the home from morning till night and is unavailable to care for the children. In modern age, the same percentage of men and women work out of home, and the same percentage work from home or don't work. Fathers and mothers are both available at home, or both use babysitters the same way.

The current belief and practice in New York State causes the situation that one parent receives full custody and the other parent is thrown out of the children's life, and is only allowed some visits as a stranger. This causes tremendous emotional damage to the children. Their life is shattered, they lost a parent; and whether he/she is allowed visits or not, it will never be the same again.

This situation in New York State also adds so much stress to the divorce process, because every parent has to fight for his life. People spend millions for attorneys, use false allegations, go to appellate court, and engage in constant litigation. The court is obligated to provide 18B attorneys, forensic experts, and the judges must spend thousands of hours on each case, and all this costs the state billions of dollars, on the tax-payer's expense.

With one simple modification of the law, everything will fall into place. Like many states already ruled, the default law should be: 50/50 physical and legal custody to both parents. This will make the children's life happy and calm. This will also save billions of dollars for the state. If a parent wishes to take away the other parent's rights, he/she will be obligated to pay for the forensic expert and for the other parent's lawyer. This will minimize the stress and will eliminate false allegations.