Listen closely, because Dr. Mrs. The Monarch is letting me use the loudspeaker for precisely three minutes before she threatens to take away my privileges, and I have something VITAL to scream about!
Do you think I, THE MIGHTY MONARCH, spent years-nay, decades perfecting my chemical-free butterfly venom, meticulously designing custom cocoons, and enduring countless indignities at the hands of that pompous, rust-colored, ginger-haired buffoon Rusty Venture just for the show to end?! ABSOLUTELY NOT!
How am I supposed to properly arch a man who isn't even currently on television? What am I supposed to do, blow up a picture of his stupid, bulbous, bulb-headed face strapped to a dartboard? I tried that! It lacks dramatic tension!
And now, adding insult to absolute, unadulterated injury, those brilliant, cruel masterminds Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick tried to gift the world a glorious, supernatural spin-off with The Order of the Triad.. featuring that quack Orpheus, the pretentious Twilight, and that smug bald chemist. and some spineless, pencil-pushing suits at the network had the sheer, unmitigated audacity to reject it?! IT IS AN OUTRAGE! It’s worse than getting a C-plus in aerodynamics! It’s worse than being forced to wear mauve!
Well, I refuse to take it lying down, and neither should you! We are taking matters into our own heavily armored, incredibly stylish gauntlets!
If you signed that glorious, magnificent petition—our very own Doomsday Device aimed squarely at the streaming executives—STAND ATTENTION! And if you haven't signed it yet, consider this your final, formal warning before I dispatch Henchman 21 to throw a brick through your living room window!
We want more Venture! We demand more Venture! We want to see those incompetent scientists crash, burn, and fall into convoluted traps of my own devising, and we want it NOW!
Netflix! Amazon! HBO Max! One of you pathetic, wallet-heavy cowards needs to step up, be our Brock Samson, and save The Venture Bros!