After guarding our solar system for untold millennia from countless undocumented asteroids, comets, and various space debris from the far reaches of the ort cloud;  it is a complete travesty that the grandest, most excellent planet in our quaint little solar cluster has a name as common and as undignified as Jupiter. 

Just as Pluto lost its status as a planet when a closer academic look was taken, so should our assessment and appreciation of the fifth planet be conversely expanded.

I purpose a national campaign to recognize Jupiter as the protector of freedom and democracy in our solar system and bequeath it with a title fitting of such a task, and thusly rename it PLANET TEXAS in all caps, and thus shall it be known in all applicable texts, educational material, workbooks, academic articles, cookbooks, park lavatory walls, and in any song hymn lullaby sung to children at any time from here until eternity.

#YDEK

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