Demand Mitch McConnell to Provide Proof he is not a Turtle

Demand Mitch McConnell to Provide Proof he is not a Turtle

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Given the uncanny resemblance of Senator McConnell to the Sea Turtle (Chelonioidea), we ask that McConnell produce his birth certificate and the document externally verified to prove he is indeed not a turtle but a human (homo sapien). His policies have suggested he is also a turtle, since they directly hurt human species, and only a truly cruel human could voluntarily inflict such harm amongst his own. Until this document is produced and verified, we ask that Mitch McConnell is suspended from all governmental work due to the fact turtles are very underqualified to run this government.

Mitch McConnell, you owe it to the United States to produce such documentation. 

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