For years, English speakers have been plagued with language complications and inefficiencies that have contributed to various institutions, including the Oxford Royale Academy, to call it “one of the hardest languages to learn.” I present to you a simple, yet important step that must be taken on the path to a simplified and more sensical language: combing the often paired words “hand sanitizer” into one officially recognized word, “hanitizer.” Say the word out loud to yourself now, and recognize how easily it flows from the tongue. Listen to the efficiency, the simplicity, and the utter sense it makes; when you hear “hanitizer,” you know exactly what it means.

     This may seem like a simple change, but I believe many of you agree that the more you utter the word, the more essential this change is to the English language. I ask that if you are as passionate about the word “hanitizer” as I am, you join with me in this quest to have it recognized in English dictionaries. By signing my petition, you will join in solidarity with a group that understands English-speakers desires for efficiency and sensical language reform.

     Thank you for your support, and remember to hanitize to maintain proper health.