As a concerned individual, I have witnessed firsthand the damaging effects of emotional and psychological abuse on young people. As they leave school and step into the wider world, they often lack the essential skills to recognize and navigate relationships marred by coercive control, manipulation, gaslighting, intimidation, isolation, and various forms of bullying. Our educational system has a duty to equip students with the knowledge to identify these harmful behaviors, distinguish between care and control, and to protect themselves and others.

The system has a duty to safeguard.

Each year, thousands of students graduate without understanding the red flags 🚩of unhealthy relationships, which puts them at risk of falling victim to manipulation or even perpetuating such behaviors unknowingly.

Make Domestic Abuse and Coercive Control Education Mandatory from Age 14

I am calling for education about domestic abuse, coercive control and unhealthy relationships to be made a mandatory and meaningful part of education for young people from the age of 14, continuing through school, college and university.

Young people need to be taught not only what physical domestic violence looks like, but also the behaviours that can come before it.

They should learn to recognise coercive control, emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, intimidation, isolation, excessive jealousy, love bombing, bullying and pressure.

Most importantly, they need to understand the difference between care and control.

A person wanting to know where you are every minute of the day is not necessarily caring.

A person deciding who you can speak to, what you can wear or where you can go is not protecting you.

Jealousy is not proof of love.

Pressure is not affection.

Manipulation is not care.

Being frightened of upsetting someone is not a healthy relationship.

Control is not care, and control is not love.

Young people should be given the knowledge and confidence to recognise these differences before they enter serious relationships themselves.

They should understand consent and personal boundaries. They should know that no means no, that they have the right to change their mind, and that nobody should pressure, frighten, manipulate or guilt them into doing something they do not want to do.

They should also be taught what a healthy relationship does look like: respect, trust, equality, kindness, independence, communication and choice.

This education matters because abusive relationships do not always begin with violence.

They can begin with attention that feels flattering. They can begin with somebody wanting to spend every moment with you, constantly contacting you or appearing intensely protective. A young person may interpret these behaviours as signs that somebody loves them.

Over time, however, those behaviours can develop into control, isolation, humiliation, fear and abuse.

If young people are taught to recognise the early warning signs, they have a better chance of questioning unhealthy behaviour before it becomes normalised.

Why this matters personally to me

I am asking for this change because I know what it is like to grow up without this knowledge.

When I was young, I was attacked and bullied by an older girl. I did not know how to stand up for myself or how to deal with what was happening. The bullying continued for years and gradually chipped away at my confidence and sense of self-worth.

I was vulnerable, but I did not have the understanding or language to recognise what was happening to me.

Later in life, I entered a relationship where I mistook controlling behaviour for caring behaviour. I did not recognise some of the warning signs for what they were.

What appeared to be intense affection and attention could feel like love. What was actually control could appear to be concern or protection.

That relationship progressed into domestic violence, which I experienced for 15 years.

Looking back, I often think about how different things might have been if somebody had educated me when I was young.

What if, at school, someone had explained what coercive control was?

What if someone had taught me about manipulation, gaslighting, love bombing and emotional abuse?

What if someone had explained that excessive jealousy and possessiveness were not proof that somebody cared?

What if somebody had taught me that I was entitled to boundaries, independence and respect?

Perhaps I would have recognised the warning signs sooner.

Education cannot guarantee that abuse will never happen. But knowledge can give a young person something incredibly important: the ability to recognise that what is happening is wrong.

Without that knowledge, unhealthy behaviour can become normalised. A young person can become trapped in a cycle that becomes increasingly difficult to escape.

This is why awareness matters.

Knowledge is protection. Knowledge gives people choices.

We teach young people about many dangers they may encounter in adult life. Understanding healthy and unhealthy relationships should be treated with the same seriousness.

This education could also help young people recognise bullying and abusive behaviour in themselves and others. It should teach that strength is not controlling another person and that love never gives somebody ownership over another human being.

Young people should know where they can turn if something does not feel right, whether it is happening to them, a friend, or someone in their family.

We should not wait until somebody is already experiencing domestic abuse before giving them this information.

We should give them the knowledge before they need it.

I am therefore asking Parliament to support mandatory, age-appropriate education on domestic abuse, coercive control, consent, boundaries and healthy relationships from the age of 14, with this education continuing through schools, colleges and universities.

Young people deserve to enter their first relationships with their eyes open.

They deserve to understand the difference between love and control.

They deserve to recognise the warning signs of abuse.

They deserve to know that they have a voice, that they have choices, and that their boundaries should be respected.

And above all, they deserve the knowledge that so many survivors wish they had been given when they were young.

Awareness is key. Knowledge is key. Education can help break the cycle before it begins.

 Statistics show that one in three adolescents in is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, verbal abuse from a dating partner. This alarming figure underscores the urgent need for intervention at the educational level.

Implementing mandatory education on these topics across schools, colleges, and universities would empower students to recognize and respond to these dangers early on. This curriculum should cover the hallmarks of emotional abuse, including coercion, excessive jealousy, and pressure tactics, thus fostering a safer and more informed generation.

Peer pressure 

Real change starts with awareness. If we can help young people understand these dynamics, we empower them to make healthier choices and seek help when needed. Imagine a world where the next generation is not only aware but also resilient against the tactics of abusers. We have the ability to enact this change by mandating that these subjects are taught as comprehensively

I urge educators, policymakers, and community leaders to take this important step. By incorporating this vital education into the curriculum, we can build a safer future for all. Our students deserve the tools to discern healthy from harmful behaviors in their personal lives.

Please sign this petition to advocate for mandatory education on identifying abusive behaviors in our schools. Together, we can make a lasting impact on the safety and well-being of young people everywhere.