I know there are several hundred thousand of you petitioning government to block Donald Trump from accessing the UK.

I'm happy to go along with this with the exception of a one-time easement into Scotland so I can take him over the park and give him a square-go.

He's a big guy but I reckon if I can pump myself full of enough M/D 20/20 I'll have enough rage inside me to give him an absolute doing.

Since I'm using alcohol to help me in this event I'll let him bring one of his pals so he can tag him if it gets too messy.

Sign this and share with your friends to make my wish come true.