Dear USAID,
Pay attention to this message.
Indeed, you should know certain truths:
1. There are direct descendants of the Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte and Betsy Balcombe.
2. There are direct descendants of the Merovingian kings.
3. There are direct descendants of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene.
4. I belong to the first three.
My sources: Nicolas Sarkozy, former French president; Hugo Chavez Frias, late Venezuelan president; Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Turkish president; my unofficial contacts with the White House, the CIA and the Vatican.
5. The U.S. government owes me 25 million dollars for the tip of the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden that I transmitted to president Obama, his Executive Office and the National Security Team during a phone conversation with the president through an official from the State Department in November 2010. For this i used a technique called remote viewing. Plus i gave the tactics for the CIA to confirm my information and for the Pentagon to eliminate OBL. I specifically asked for Navy SEALs Team 6 armed with Belgian FN FAL rifles and a Belgian Malinois sheperd and a third helicopter. Vice President Joe Biden asked my blessing for them to return without a scratch, I promised that they would return alive, shaken but not stirred. I guaranteed the success of that mission on my blood. The White House has the recording of that conversation that lasted about 40 minutes. During that conversation i also gave the tip of the whereabouts of Whitey Bulger for the FBI and the tip of the manipulation of the libor interest rate by European banks and i promised a 25 year-sentence against Viktor Bout and a 50 year-sentence against the former Liberian dictator Charles Taylor. I also promised the fall of the Libyan dictator Moamar Khadafi.
Furthermore in August 2011 i guaranteed on my life the success of the NASA Curiosity rover mission and the re-election of Barack Obama. Early 2013 i gave to a CIA agent the idea and my blessing for the Ice Bucket Challenge campaign and i promised 100 million dollars in donations for the ALS Association and i gave my blessing for the success of ISIS as a military tactic to destabilize Iraq and Syria.
Regards, Vincent Schollen