Sir David Attenborough should change his name to Boaty McBoatface. The people's voice has been snubbed in their overwhelming votes to name a new British research vessel Boaty McBoatface. The Natural Environment Research Council has ignored the will of the people, and have announced their intent to name the boat R.R.S. Sir David Attenborough.

Sir David Attenborough is a tremendously accomplished naturalist with a reputation for high moral character. We appeal then directly to his sense of justice and fairness. Sir David, you are our only hope. We implore you to legally change your name to Sir Boaty McBoatface, so that the research vessel bearing your name will be forced to follow suit.